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While it would be nice to predict what the future has in store, the Magic 8-Ball we’ve been holding onto just doesn’t seem to be doing it for us anymore. Couldn’t it have warned of yesterday’s freak downpour that mysteriously appeared on the morning commute? Reply hazy, try again.

We’re left living our lives one surprise at a time. Life is all about reveling in spontaneity and the unknown, we know — but we’re still trying to find a way to cheat the system. So we’re calling on our trusty astrologists like Susan Miller and the AstroTwins.

Though they can’t tell us the name of our next heartbreak or where to go to find a free $20 bill flying in the wind, horoscopes are a fun way to take a peek at the future.

Whether you plan to take this astrological advice quite literally or with a grain of salt (accompanied by a tequila shot), these horoscopes are meant to hint at what’s in store for us based on our sun signs.

This is your chance to try to explain the happenings around you — like why you and your best friend have been fighting, or why you keep losing your phone. (Hint: Mercury’s retrograde might be to blame.) Our experts will also help you figure out the best time to make an important move, like asking for that well-deserved raise.

We’ll tell you what to look out for and which planets have got your back. With a regular dose of your astrological news, you’ll be mentally prepared for when love and prosperity are on the horizon. Fingers crossed.

So whether you look to your horoscope for a good laugh or to see the future and explain the past, we’ve got all of your astronomical questions answered right here.


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Your Horoscope For This Week

Be still, thy beating booming with Super Bass heart! This week, a tag team of super-sizer Jupiter and amorous Venus lovebombs the world. The two passionate...


Your Horoscope For This Week

Normal? Uh, what’s that? The unicorns shall inherit the Earth this week, as weird and wonderful Uranus sings two killer duets. The first is on Monday, ...


Your Horoscope For This Week

Kindred spirits, unite! This Tuesday, June 16, marks the annual new moon in Gemini. As much as we all prize our individuality, it feels pretty darn good to...


Your Horoscope For This Week

You said potato; they heard “potahhhto.” Ummmm…WTH! Raise your hand if you’re tired of all the scrambled signals going around. With communication ...


Your June Love Horoscope Is MAJOR

Summer lovin’ could happen so fast this month, but will it fizzle as fast as it sizzles? With a stack of planets in flirty, impetuous Gemini, it won’t ...

Lynnie Zulu_horoscope_monthly_opener

Your June Horoscope, Revealed

Summon those soul twins! This June is Gemini time, with the sun and high-octane Mars traveling side-by-side like Castor and Pollux until the 21st. This ...


Your Horoscope For This Week

Free your souls, stargazers! On Tuesday, June 2, the annual full moon in Sagittarius shines its liberating beams on the world. Boundaries dissolve, and the...


Your Horoscope For This Week

Who’s guarding the grill, patrolling the potato salad, and picking up the PBRs? Monday is Memorial Day, and hopefully your boss had the decency to give ...

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