Be Like Mary J.: No More Drama
While voicing how you feel (especially when it’s not in line with what you're hearing around you) might seem like the catalyst for a confrontation, it’s actually the secret to making love, not war. “When you deny your feelings, you start to make up stories in your mind that drive you — and everyone else — totally nuts,” says Bernstein. “These ‘stories’ can create chaos in your relationships and in your life.” The stay-calm trick: State the reasons for your inner turmoil directly to the source or keep them to yourself, but not locked up inside — as in, share them with your reflection in a mirror. “With love and kindness, say out loud to yourself or others exactly how you feel,” says Bernstein. Whatever happens next is going to be way healthier for you than keeping negative feelings pent up.
Make Your Bed
Or stick to any other a.m. habit that you can handle shortly after you wake up or pre-coffee, on a regular basis. “Being happy throughout the day begins with how you start the day,” says Bernstein. “Create morning rituals that ground you in a peaceful place and set you up to win.” Bernstein suggests to most of her Spirit Junkie acolytes that they take a few minutes every day to focus their energy and choose a loving perspective. Which basically means all you have to do is write down a feel-good mantra Mad Libs on a sticky note and put it on your computer or fridge — today I will [insert totally impressive verb that makes you feel good here], or I am [insert rockstar-like status word here]). Need a little help to pinpoint your positive affirmation? Download the Spirit Junkie Alarm Clock app (available on November 8). “When your alarm goes off in the morning, a positive affirmation will pop up on the screen and you can use it as a tool to kick off your day in a powerful way,” explains Bernstein.
Photographed by Erin Yamagata
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