Bagel Rat Tells Us Something Important About Humanity (Yes, Really)

Our fascination with Pizza Rat, Pizza Squirrel, and other carb-obsessed rodentia stems from a 1954 fable that made an early appearance in an Orson Welles script. There are variants on the fable, but this is the one we’re using and it showed up first in the 1950s. So don’t @ us. The fable is that of the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion, in the tale, comes to a river and asks for the frog for help across. The frog says no. Why should he help a scorpion? Besides, the scorpion will probably sting him. The scorpion says, “Why would I sting you? If I do, we’ll both drown.” The frog thinks about this for a second then agrees. As they’re crossing the river, the scorpion stings the frog and they both sink into the river. “Why would you do that?” the frog asks. “Because it’s in my nature,” the scorpion says. And then they both drown. So, with that in mind, we introduce Bagel Rat, which was posted to blogger and fashion editor Sarah Chiwaya’s Instagram. The newest and greatest in animals-plus-food-plus-major-metropolitan-area viral sensations. Here’s the twist: The rat is eating the bagel, while standing on an island made of bagel. He’s going to drown himself. Not really, the water is pretty shallow. But Pizza Rat and Squirrel, respectively, could have faced similar deadly fates. And yet they insisted on their food. It’s in their nature. Much like it’s in our nature to bicker with our loved ones, or leave work at 4:59 p.m., or click on stories involving animals and food. The wheel of life rolls forward.