• Election 2012
Nov 5, 2012 2:40 PM EST
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Where The Candidates Stand: One Last Primer Before You Hit The Polls
Vote_300x400It’s one day until Election Day, and everyone is holding their breath until they turn red or blue to see who will be the next leader of these great United States. Throw on your flag pin and open your big red umbrella if you have to — it's time to get out and VOTE! Before you do, make sure you're informed. Thankfully, theSkimm's got your back. Check out their issue breakdown below and read the full theSkimm's Guide to the Election at theSkimm.com.

I’ll vote... I'm just a little overwhelmed: We feel ya. Romney and Obama are not just different candidates from different parties but they offer starkly different visions on certain issues. So, what am I voting on? Let’s Skimm this E.

Taxes…as in how much should we all pay?
What Obama says: Tax cuts and breaks from Bush ’43 are about to expire, and we need to renew them for families making under $250K. Those making the big bucks need to pay more. No cuts for you. My friend, Mitt, just doesn’t care about 47% of Americans.
What Romney says: Barry just doesn’t get it. We should keep the Bush tax cuts/breaks for everyone. And give some more cuts, with the biggest breaks for the wealthy. This will actually help the middle class. Do the math. (Just don’t ask me how I do mine yet.)

Health care…as in health-care reform happened, and Republicans wish it hadn’t.
What Obama says: Ever heard of that little thing called Obamacare? I DID IT! And, every Republican hates it. We seek to reduce the number of uninsured, expand Medicaid, protect coverage for patients with pre-existing conditions, and ban insurers from cancelling policies when patients get sick. Oh, and you must have insurance or face a penalty tax, sorry. Don’t like it? Well, Mittnificent doesn’t care as much as I do.
What Romney says: Peace out Obrokeacare. Did I apply an eerily similar plan when I was governor of Massachusetts? I sure did. But, that was one state, not the whole country. Yes, there are some good things within the reform, but a mandate? No. Purchasing insurance should be a tax break, not a penalty. Uninsured? Go to the ER.

Medicare/Social Security…as in who loves Grandma more, and will I one day be able to retire in Boca or Scottsdale? Psst, what’s Medicare again? A program that insures 49 million seniors and people with disabilities. It is running out of money. And social security is a safety net that provides retirement benefits to over 55 million Americans. It’s funded by a payroll tax on employees and employers. It’s running out of money, too.
What Obama says: Don’t worry, Obamacare will help reign in Medicare spending. Paul Ryan’s vision of Medicare will put more cost on Granny. As for social security, Republicans are going to make it very hard for us to retire. As for my plan? Uh, I’m working on it.
What Romney says: Obummer just took $716 billion away from Grandma to pay for his namesake plan! Medicare isn’t a piggy bank. My new BFF, Paul Ryan, had a great idea that he brought to the House: Let’s make Medicare into a program that gives seniors a fixed payment to buy whatever coverage they want. It’s a voucher. And social security will stay as is for soon-to-be retirees, but I’ll make changes for the younger folks, like raising the retirement age (HA! I’ll be dead then).

Immigration…as in there are over 11 million undocumented immigrants living and working in the U.S. What do we do?
What Obama says: Si se puede? I promised you a major immigration overhaul last time we did this, and I didn’t deliver. Ay! But I did sign an executive order that lets immigrants who entered the country illegally as children, stay and work for at least two years without the fear of deportation. DREAM Act, here we come!
What Romney says: Sigh. If only I were Latino, this would be easier. I support a self-deportation strategy, which says make your own choice on how you want to say hasta la vista.

Jobs & the Economy…as in we have no money. Help.
What Obama says: Sh*t. There’s a recession, okay? Your last president gave me a really bad economy, but at least I didn’t let the auto industry die. We’ve actually been adding jobs. We need to continue to stimulate the economy.
What Romney says: Oh, boy this prez has NO idea what he’s doing. Balancing budgets is what I do, folks. Time to make some necessary, but painful, cuts. We need to slacken some corporate regulation and make more trade deals.