5 True Stories Of Shopping While Intoxicated

Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
You know the feeling: You're three pinots to the wind, you feel 10 times richer than you are, and that dress you've been eyeing online is seeming like a more legitimate expense than paying rent. Sober thinking has left the building. Next thing you know, there's a full shopping bag (and an empty pizza box) next to your bed. This, friends, is called SWI: Shopping While Intoxicated, and it's a habit we know all too well.

Turns out we are not alone in having racked up more than our fair share of SWIs. When we asked friends if they had a few of their own, the list of drunk purchases kept getting more expensive (a colleague's $5,000 crocodile Céline bag that "went straight back to the warehouse") — and weirder. Think: a French bulldog. From our very own Erin Cunningham: "I returned her the next day. I was ashamed."

The slides ahead will remind you of some of the best gifts you've ever forgotten you sent to yourself — as well showcase some inspired-by options that are so good, you don't even need liquid courage to press "buy." So, whether it's a post-brunch splurge or an Ambien- and wine-induced in-flight purchase that you literally cannot remember for the life of you ever making, we're here to let you know that we get it, and you're not alone.
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Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
The “I Just Think I Should Have This” Jacket
"I may or may not have drunkenly purchased a $1,200 Saint Laurent jacket, which I have since lost, and it's so tragic. It was my freshman year at NYU, and I was feeling like I deserved such things, which I clearly did not. Never again.”
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Photo: Courtesy of H&M.
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Photo: Courtesy of Trademark.
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Photo: Courtesy of Kenzo.
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Photo: Courtesy of 3.1 Phillip Lim.
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Photo: Courtesy of House of Holland.
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Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
The “But It Looked So Good In The Pictures” Top
"I bought a bootleg T-shirt depicting the banned alternate cover for Lil' Kim's album Hardcore on eBay when I was nearly blacked out. When it arrived it was like it was Christmas, except even better because I didn't know it was coming. Still have it to this day."
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Photo: Courtesy of Sandy Liang.
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Photo: Courtesy of Carven.
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Photo: Courtesy of Andrea-Jiapei Li.
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Photo: Courtesy of Pixie Market.
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Photo: Courtesy of Marques Almeida.
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Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
The “That Is A Work Of Art” Dress
"So, I'm at home — one bottle of rosé deep — straight chilling, and then something clicked. Maybe the pink of the rosé I was sipping on inspired me, but I happened upon this hot-pink turtleneck dress with a huge image of Killa Cam on it. For some (drunken) reason I had. To. Have. It. Still haven't worn the thing, but I will... Maybe the next time I'm a bottle of rosé deep and at home...alone?"
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Photo: Courtesy of Rebson.
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Photo: Courtesy of Sandro.
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Photo: Courtesy of Opening Ceremony.
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Photo: Courtesy of Karla Spetic.
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Photo: Courtesy of Front Row Shop.
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Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
The “Of Course I'll Wear These” Shoes
“One time, I was walking through Soho after a boozy birthday brunch with my friends, and we somehow walked by the same store three times. And the same shoe caught my eye every time we walked past it. By the third time, I’d lured my friends in ‘just to take a look.’ I walked out with it minutes later and forgot I bought it by the next morning. Do I regret it? Absolutely not."
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Photo: Courtesy of Zara.
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Photo: Courtesy of Nicholas Kirkwood.
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Photo: Courtesy of Paula Cademartori.
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Photo: Courtesy of ASOS.
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Photo: Courtesy of Prada.
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Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
The “Been Sitting In My Cart Forever” Jeans
"I’ll just say that the eBay app is a particularly dangerous thing when you're drunk. I woke up a month ago to discover a confirmation email for a 3 a.m. purchase of a perfectly distressed pair of Rag & Bone skinny jeans...except that they were in the wrong size. Facepalm."
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Photo: Courtesy of Karen Millen.
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Photo: Courtesy of Topshop.
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Photo: Courtesy of Fendi.
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Photo: Courtesy of Toga.
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Photo: Courtesy of House of Holland.
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