These Jobs Are Almost Too Awesome To Be True

Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
When was the last time you held a conversation without complaining about your job? With a lifetime average of more than 99,000 hours spent at work, it's rather worrisome that 80% of Americans are reportedly dissatisfied with what they do for a living. To make things even more depressing, only 30% would say that they've landed their dream jobs, according to a LinkedIn survey.

To us, the ideal career is one with flexible hours, abundant opportunities for travel, and the freedom to pursue our passions. But what exactly might such a job look like for people with varying interests? We've investigated and compiled seven unreal-sounding jobs and their average salaries. From cuddlers-for-hire to professional ninjas, these titles would surely make for more than just very badass business cards.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
Nope, this isn't a scam directed at fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Back in February, a Japanese Twitter user spotted a hiring notice for ninja instructors on HelloWork, a government-run employment database. This "master" will be in charge of running the martial arts training center located in Koka, a region with rich ninja heritage — wearing full ninja regalia, of course. The position entails teaching nine different shadow arts to enthusiasts who will most certainly stop by the themed museum and historic ninja base camp nearby.

Average Salary
Unfortunately, the ninja lifestyle is not a lucrative one. According to the posting, the prospective candidate will only be required to work weekends, and while the pay is negotiable, the starting hourly wage is about $6.35 to $8.50. But, think of all the cool weapons you'd have at your disposal!
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
For those of you who have trouble getting out of bed every morning, a hotel test sleeper might be your true calling. This sweet gig allows you travel the world and review accommodations on the DL, based on comfort, service, and the overall experience provided. In other words, it's a secret-shopper type of position — but with Egyptian cotton sheets and unlimited room service.

Sound tempting? Don't rush to sign up just yet: Only the most painstakingly meticulous will qualify for the job. No detail is to be missed in the rating process, and that means everything from the specks of dust on your pillow to the toilet paper texture. We don't know about you, but we wouldn't want to sweat the small stuff when we're at a fancy hotel.

Average Salary
A hotel bed tester makes $60,000 per year, according to Simply Hired.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
Yep, your favorite bedtime activity can bring in the big bucks — if you're willing to do it with someone other than your S.O. or your pet. Professional cuddling is a real industry — and a thriving one, at that. Many claim the services are therapeutic and pay up to $400 for a (strictly platonic) snuggling sesh. With apps and matching services like Cuddlr and Cuddle Comfort, who needs Tinder for a pair of loving arms to keep you warm at night?

Average Salary
Depending on your level of spooning expertise, cuddlers can earn somewhere from $60 to $80 an hour. If you're brave enough to tag team with another professional, a "double cuddle" bags you $100 in just 45 minutes. Not a bad deal if you're very comfortable with strangers.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
Here's an ideal vocation for snap-happy globetrotters: Google-certified photographers are often hired by local businesses to document sceneries around the world for the tech giant's Street View feature. The lucky ones are sent to shoot stunning panoramas for the world's most extreme settings, from prehistoric ruins to scarcely photographed jungles. The only downside is the Trekker — a 40-pound filming device you have to schlep around at all times.

Average Salary
These snappers are not directly paid by Google for their services, but instead by the institutions who want their shops visible on Google Maps. The going rate ranges from $299 to $999 per package.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
A tequilier (an amalgam of the words "tequila" and "sommelier") is someone who spreads the knowledge of tequila and hosts regular tastings at fancy resorts. Similar to a wine expert, these connoisseurs also educate restaurants and hotels on the best cocktail pairings for their menus. Plus, you get to travel to different countries to promote the liquor. Lightweights need not apply.

Average Salary
An advanced-level sommelier takes home $80,000 to $160,000 per year.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
Having orgasms for a living sounds like a pleasurable job, indeed. To ensure their designs deliver the maximum amount of pleasure, adult toy manufacturers regularly contract freelancers to test drive their latest creations — and that means everything from your standard vibrator to fetish equipment. More often than not, these reviewers blog about their experience and accumulate sizable followings. Becoming a sexy-times influencer for the masses sounds like a great career path to us.

Average Salary
Successful part-time reviewers can make an average of $27,000 to $39,000 a year.
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Illustrated by Elliot Salazar.
It's been scientifically proven that gardening is a therapeutic habit, but a horticultural therapist takes it to the next level: These professionals use landscaping and plants to help patients make progress with overcoming various illnesses and disabilities. It's almost like being a Plant Whisperer, but also improving lives in the process.

Average Salary
The average salary range for a horticultural therapist is $25,000 to $63,000.
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