Across the East River and below the L.I.E is a land of legend. Its residents practice strange mating rituals involving darts and barter with canned malt beverages and freshly grown basil, and it has been studied to an obsessive degree all over America (Portland, take note). To traverse Brooklandia's wild and whimsical lands, you'll need a treasure map, a sort of divining rod to bring you to the places and sights mentioned in sacred sources like Girls or Magnetic Fields' albums. It is easy to get lost, so in order to prepare you, we've gathered the oft-seen creatures and places — from mason jar-laden bars to Converse All-Stars galore — and created a heat map to help you identify (and even blend in with) Brooklandians in their natural habitat.
In the interest of sociological exploration, we present two maps to Brooklandia. The first is a heat map, showing who and where wild Brooklandians can be found. Secondly, we've broken down points of interest, and what sort of hipster trademarks you can spot in each location. Binoculars and take-along scavenger hunts are, unfortunately, not provided.
Brooklandia_Full
Ah, yes: The focal point of all hipster activity. The 101 of Hipster Studies. When exploring the expanse of Brooklandia, all roads come from North Brooklyn.
Brooklandia_WG
KEY:
legend (1)
Five Leaves
Fine dining in your best cutoff shorts.
Five Leaves, 18 Bedford Avenue (between Nassau Avenue & Lorimer Street); (718) 383-5345.
Beacon's Closet
Sometimes, Beacon's Closet is a veritable treasure trove of stylists' leftover scores, sample sale steals of yore, and loads of Phillip Lim. Other times, it just smells like an ex-boyfriend.
Beacon's Closet, 88 N 11th Street (between Berry Street & Wythe Avenue); (718) 486-0816.
VICE
No one knows Brooklyn media like the original Brooklyn media, which is now home to the official Emmy-nominated news show.
Vice, 90 N 11th Street (at Berry Street), Suite 202; (718) 599-3101.
285 Kent
Sweaty and wild, 285 is the current capital of the large DIY music scene. Former epicenters include Market Hotel, Party City, House Of Yes, Shea Stadium, and Don Pedro's.
285 Kent, 285 Kent Avenue (between 1st Street & Grand Street); 347-227-8030.
Union Pool
The best part of Union Pool is all the embarrassing and amazing moments you have had there. The worst part is the photo booth, which has sadly captured them all.
Union Pool, 484 Union Avenue (at Skillman Avenue); (718) 609-0484.
Bird
A.P.C. raincoats? Check. Isabel Marant Dicker bootie? Gotcha. Lena Dunham spottings? You bet.
Bird, 203 Grand Street (between Bedford Avenue & Driggs Avenue); (718) 388-1655.
It's important to note that there were real, established communities in Bushwick, Bed Stuy, and Clinton Hill before young college grads looking for reasonable rent moved to the neighborhood. However, with Pratt and a steady source of creatives in the area, the location is home to some of the hippest goings-on in the borough.
Brooklandia_BB
KEY:
legend (1)
Roberta's
Can we say a pizza place transformed a neighborhood? Possibly, but Bushwick is now synonymous with some of the best food in NYC, and that is a pretty huge deal.
Roberta's, 261 Moore Street (between White Street & Bogart Street); (718) 417-1118.
Bossa Nova Civic Club
Because funky, neighborhood-flavored dance clubs are always, always in vogue.
Bossa Nova Civic Club, 1271 Myrtle Avenue (between Evergreen Avenue & Cedar Street); (718) 443-1271.
The Lab
Let your inner Burner run free, either ironically...or unironically.
The Lab Banquet Hall, 1428 Fulton Street (at Brooklyn Avenue); (718) 773-1760.
Do Or Dine
Once the slogan of an embattled neighborhood, now it has been repurposed for deviled eggs!
Do or Dine, 1108 Bedford Avenue (between Gates Avenue & Lexington Avenue); (718) 684-2290.
Rockaway Tacos
Sure, you may have to take the L train for a while, but honestly, they are really good tacos.
Rockaway Tacos, 95-19 Rockaway Beach Boulevard; (347) 213-7466.
Nestled next to the East River, Red Hook/Carroll Gardens/Gowanus/Park Slope isn't just one of the loveliest parts of Brooklyn today, it is one of the most varied in price, too. Which is why you have gorgeous brownstones next to warehouses and babies in Converse next to people who live on houseboats.
Brooklandia_PP
KEY:
legend (1)
Lavender Lake
Small-batch bourbon. Kale. Salvaged wood. Basically, it is heaven...next to the Gowanus.
Lavender Lake, 383 Carroll Street (at Bond Street); (347) 799-2154.
Brooklyn Flea
Sure, there is one in Williamsburg, but this is the bigger and more notable of the two.
The Brooklyn Flea, 176 Lafayette Avenue (between Clermont St. & Vanderbilt Avenue); (718) 935-1052.
Weather Up
Like a taste of Williamsburg, except with more space and better drinks.
Weather Up, 589 Vanderbilt Ave (at Dean Street); (212) 766-3202.
Prospect Park Bandshell
Though the acoustics aren't amazing, your favorite modern classic sounds best with boxed wine, the sun setting, and children running about.
Prospect Park, 9Th St & Prospect Park West; (718) 965-8951.
Frankies Sputino
You know that whole new Americana thing that is pretty ubiquitous in the borough? This might be the origin point of farm-to-table, BK-style. Get your hipster history here.
Frankies Sputino, 457 Court Street (between Fourth Place and Luquer Street); 718-403-0033.
Ikea
Because no Brooklandia apartment is complete without one teensy-tiny little MALM. Truth.
Ikea, 1 Beard Street (between Otsego Street & Halleck Street); (888) 888-4532.

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