These Sex Toys Will Make For Unforgettable Gifts

Sex toys make the best presents for all kinds of people. Your shy, inexperienced bestie might just need an enthusiastic friend to more or less put a vibrator in her hand. Your wild pal will appreciate your excellent taste in the latest dildo model. And your partner will never forget the holiday season that was significantly warmed up by the gift of a perfect pleasure object.

When you give someone a sex toy, you’re giving them more than a material item. A sex toy has limitless potential for unforgettable experiences, comfort, self-love, health, and fun. Plus, it’s a big middle finger to the messages of shame that keep us from encouraging one another to love our bodies. It’s the gift that keeps on coming. (That’s the saying, right?)

Being a professional pervert, I’ve had the chance to test-drive a whole lot of sex toys and kink gear, and I’m always on the hunt for the newest innovations. (Also, I have a lot of outspoken friends who can’t stop talking about the harnesses they love and the butt plugs they can’t wait to try.) So, I put together a holiday gift guide that includes my mainstay classics, some new models, and a few things that I’m sure will keep you erotically inspired all year long. Happy shopping!

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Photo: Courtesy of Babeland.
Best Of Women's Erotica 2

Violet Blue has been editing erotica anthologies for years, and she really knows her stuff. This is the perfect gift to stimulate the imagination, get dirty talk and fantasy ideas, and maybe even read aloud to your partner.

Best of Women's Erotica 2, $14.95, available at Babeland.
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Photo: Courtesy of Plume.
Plume Moi Box Deluxe

This adult caboodle is the perfect place to store your sex toys by your bedside, in your suitcase, or to take on a date. No more wishing you had your vibrator at bae's place: now you can bring it with you in style. It's great for your friend who travels a lot for work, or for that Virgo in your life who just loves having everything in its proper place.

Plume Moi Box, $99.99, available at Plume.
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Photo: Courtesy of NJoy
NJoy Pjur Wand

Only the most perfect dildo ever. My G-spot begs you to buy the Pjur Wand for the one you love. (And my friends with prostates tell me it never lets them down, either.) The stainless steel design is incredibly erotic and non-porous for easy cleaning. It’s also a great “insertable” toy that in no way resembles a phallus, which is a plus for some people. In my opinion, no dildo collection is complete without one. Get one for everyone you know, and watch their moods dramatically improve.

NJoy Pjur Wand, $110, available at NJoy.
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Photo: Courtesy of Coconu.
Coconut oil-based lube

Is there anything coconut oil can’t do? It moisturizes your skin and hair, helps fry up veggies, and it makes an exquisite lubricant. Coconut oil is a great wink wink, nudge nudge sexy gift for your more demure yet organic-loving friends. Try a product that uses coconut oil as a base, or actually gift someone a jar of the stuff to dedicate to their nightstand. But keep in mind that oil-based lubes aren’t condom-compatible.

Coconu Oil-Based Lubricant, $25, available at Tool Shed Toys
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Photo: Courtesy of WeVibe
WeVibe Sync with We Connect

It’s 2016, and although we may be a few years off from artificially intelligent sex robots, tech innovators are up to some pretty pervy stuff. Long heralded as the best couples toy specifically designed to be used during intercourse, the WeVibe is a clip-shaped, silicone-covered, rechargeable vibrator that stimulates the G-spot and clitoris of the person wearing it, as well as the naughty bits of the person rubbing up against or inside of them. The newest version is adjustable to fit your body, and it connects to an app (so nerdy, but so cool). With the We Connect app, you can pre-program vibe patterns, or turn over the power to your partner.

WeVibe Sync, $199, available at WeVibe.
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Photo: Courtesy of B Vibe
B Vibe Butt Plug

Just when you thought you could never get a new sensation from a butt plug, along comes the B Vibe. The rotating beads in the B Vibe stem stimulate your sphincter muscles, much like the pearls in the infamous Rabbit vibe. And since it’s designed to recreate the experience of getting a rim job, this toy is perfect for all the salad-tossers (and toss-ees) in your life.

B Vibe Rimming Plug, $150, available at B Vibe.
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Photo: Courtesy of Trenchcoat X.
Trenchcoat X subscription

So, you know someone who wants to be an ethical porn consumer. What better place to start than with a gift subscription to Trenchcoat X? The high-quality content is vetted by veteran adult performers Stoya and Kayden Kross, who certainly know a thing or two about what turns people on. Instead of the often problematic search terms that litter tube sites, Trenchcoat X allows you to curate your own content by indicating what porn situations make you squee — and which squick you out. You can choose monthly memberships or pay-per-view options. There’s something for everyone, no guilt necessary!

Trenchcoat X Subscription, $24.95, available at Trenchcoat X.
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Photo: Courtesy of Charkrubs.
Chakrubs Rose Quartz Yoni Egg

With the popularity of crystals as fashion statements and as tools for healing, it was probably only a matter of time before someone made honest-to-goddess crystal sex toys. Let’s just be glad cool Brooklyn ladies (who really know the ins and outs of witchcraft) were the ones to do it. If you know someone who’s new to the woo woo, I recommend getting them the rose quartz yoni egg, which is said to draw loving energy into your body.

Chakrubs Rose Bud, $65, available at Chakrubs.
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Photo: Courtesy of Fucking Sculptures.
Fucking Sculptures Galaxy

If you know someone who’s in the market for a sex toy that’s an other-worldly work of art, you need to get them a Fucking Sculpture. These dildos are one-of-a-kind creations, and they’re super hot for people who like to bear their muscles down on really hard material. Try the limited edition Galaxy for your friend who claims to already have every sex toy ever.

Fucking Sculptures Galaxy, $300, available at Fucking Sculptures.
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Photo: Courtesy of Aslan Leather.
Aslan Bondage Belt

Imagine slipping your leather belt off from around your waist, folding it over, and using the hardware to bind your partner to the bed. The Aslan bondage belt is designed for this very purpose. It looks fly with any outfit (in my opinion, at least), and it means wearers are never without their bondage kit.

Aslan Leather Bondage Belt, $57.50, available at Aslan Leather.
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Photo: Courtesy of Tomboi.
Tomboi Boxer Brief Strap-On Harness

I love my leather harness, but there’s something so comforting about slipping on a nice snug pair of boxer briefs that doubles as a strap-on. The Tomboi is one of the most versatile underwear-style strap-ons out there: It has two O-rings for dildos and three pockets for bullet vibes. Great for any gender non-conforming friends, ladies who love ladies, or that couple you know loves to peg the night away.

Tomboi Boxer Briefs Harness, $115, available at Shebop.
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Photo: Courtesy of Curve Novelties.
Curve Novelties Tail Cleaner

Enemas are great for making your asshole feel squeaky clean before anal sex. They can also be used for relaxing date prep or exciting power play. For years, my trash cans have been overflowing with (wasteful) disposable, one-use fleet enema bottles, but no longer! This well-designed, 100% silicone anal douche can be disinfected and used over and over again to get warm water deep up inside of you. It’s a great gift to suggest anal play with your partner, or for your professional dominatrix pals.

Curve Novelties Tail Cleaner, $24.99, available at Smitten Kitten.
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Liberator Fascinator Throw

Have you ever held back your passion during a hot hookup session because you were afraid to soak the sheets? Then you need to to travel with a Fascinator Throw. It absorbs shocking amounts of bodily fluids, and then just gets thrown in the laundry. It’s like you were never there! And it’s much comfier than rolling out a tarp. Give this one to your messiest friend with the note: “Never sleep in a cold wet spot again!”

Liberator Fascinator Throw, $108, available at Liberator.
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Photo: Courtesy of Fun Factory.
Duke from Fun Factory

Everyone with a prostate should have a toy specifically designed to stimulate the P-spot. This admittedly weird-looking vibrator makes perfect sense as soon as it’s snuggled into the butt, stimulating the perineum and vibrating away inside the body. It’s waterproof for hot tub fun, and rechargeable. The silicone exterior makes it easy to clean, too. Perfect for the dude who wants something inside him while he fucks.

Fun Factory Duke, $64, available at Fun Factory.
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Photo: Courtesy of Evolved.
Evolved Anal Stoppers

Everyone who enjoys anal sex should know that a toy going up the butt should have a flared base to keep it from being sucked up inside. You may be tempted to think that you can keep hold of your favorite sleek vibrator while sticking it in your ass, but it’s just too risky. Thankfully, these ingenious, affordable silicone doughnuts are designed to give any toy a flared base. They would make great stocking stuffers for the anal lovers in your life.

Evolved Vibrator Enhancer/Anal Stopper, $16, available at Tool Shed Toys.
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Photo: Courtesy of Magnus Mighty.
Magnus Mighty Magnetic Orbs

The simplicity, low cost, and tiny size of this toy is inversely proportional to its deviousness. The strong magnetic pull between the two little balls means any flesh between them is pressed, clamped, and pinched. It’s a great gift for those who love crafting science projects with sadomasochistic glee.

Magnus Mighty Magnetic Orbs, $10, available at Extreme Restraints.
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Photo: Courtesy of Pelvix.
Pelvix Concept Kegel Kit

There are tons of kegel exercisers on the market, but I’ve found they bounce around and get lost under the bed easily. This well-designed kit makes it possible to put different weights in the same toy. You can wear them and do your kegels while doing chores around the house, or bear down during oral sex or clitoral masturbation. This one’s great for the fitness enthusiast in your life.

Pelvix Concept Pelvic Floor Exerciser, $30, available at Stress No More.
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Photo: Courtesy of Fleshlight.
Fleshlight Girls

The classic sleeve is one of the most popular and iconic masturbation toys out there for penises. If you’ve got a special guy in your life, throw a personal touch on your gift by getting him the sleeve of his favorite porn star. And don’t forget: Any solo toy can be a couples toy. Just like you can bring your vibrator to bed, have him put on a show for you in which he strokes himself with a replica of Stoya's or Asa Akira’s vagina.

Fleshlight Girls Fleshlight, $80, available at Fleshlight.
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Photo: Courtesy of Tantus.
Tantus C Sling Cock Ring

I asked a friend who is a cock ring aficionado for a recommendation of the best on the market. Without hesitation, he told me that the C-Sling is his all-time favorite. Cock rings are known for keeping erections harder longer because they restrict the flow of blood out of, but not into, the penis. The sling shape also massages the perineum. And if you’re a fan of cocks and balls, it’s nice to see them all gathered up and presented like the neat packages they are.

Tantus C-Sling, $35, available at Tantus.
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Photo: Courtesy of Womanizer
Womanizer Pro40

The Womanizer may be named for one of Britney Spears’ least memorable songs, but it’s an unforgettable masturbation experience. Other toys have tried (and mostly failed) to simulate the experience of oral sex, but the Womanizer’s combination of suction with vibration makes it a totally different kind of orgasm-inducer than your average vibrator. If you’re a big spender, get the one encrusted with Swarovski crystals for one of your swankier friends.

Womanizer Pro40, $99, available at Womanizer.
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Photo: Courtesy of Tryst.
Tryst Multi Erogenous Zone Vibrator

If only every sex toy were as adjustable and versatile as this one. It twists, it turns, it vibrates! It’s good for external and internal stimulation, and it makes for a great gift from one couple to another.

Tryst Multi-Erogenous Zone Vibrator, $60, available at Amazon.
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Photo: Courtesy of Buck Angel.
Buck Off Stroker

The Buck Off is the very first sex toy specifically designed with FTM bodies in mind. It’s a stroking sleeve that’s sized for trans male genitals, whether they use hormone-replacement therapy or not. This toy is affirming for gender-nonconforming bodies, making it the ideal gift for the special trans man in your life.

Buck Angel Buck Off Stroker, $30, available at Buck Angel.
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Photo: Courtesy of PULSE.
PULSE III DUO

Behold: A vibrator (or ”Guybrator,” as the company cheekily calls it) for penis solo play that now works for partner play. This oscillating stroker wraps its silicone wings around the penis for hands-free orgasms. It’s also touted as a toy to be used when flaccid or erect, which means it’s a considerate gift for someone older or differently-abled.

PULSE III
DUO, $149, available at PULSE.
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Photo: Courtesy of Crave.
Vesper by Crave

Finally, you can turn your love of masturbation into a fashion statement. This sleek and powerful vibrator doubles as a classy and stealthy necklace. Great for bathroom quickies and cheekily showing your date exactly what you have in mind.

Crave Vesper, $69, available at Crave.
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Photo: Courtesy of Lovense.
Lovense

There’s never been a better time to feel connected to your far-off partner, whether you’re on a quick trip or in a long-distance relationship. These two toys — a rabbit-style vibrator and a sleeve — are connected via an app. When your muscles contract around the insertable as you orgasm, your partner feels it in the sleeve. It’s basically the sex of the future. And besides, it’s just really fun to say the word “teledildonics.”

Lovense Nora, $199, available at Lovense.
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Photo: Courtesy of Magic Wand.
Rechargable Magic Wand

They don’t call it "the Cadillac of vibrators" for nothing. No bedside is complete without a magic wand for intense, shuddering orgasms. And now there’s a rechargeable model — no need to struggle with extension cords anymore! Plus, you can take it camping, so we’ll go ahead and count this as outdoor gear.

Magic Wand Rechargeable, $124.95, available at Babeland.
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Photo: Courtesy of Crystal Delights.
Crystal Delights Rainbow Pony Tail

There are butt plugs with sparkly jewels, butt plugs with pigtails and puppy tails, and butt plugs made of 24-Karat gold. And now, there’s a rainbow ponytail butt plug. Whether you’re shopping for a pony-play fetishist, a Bronie cosplayer, or just someone who appreciates a fancy princess moment, this magically adorned butt plug is a fantasy come true.

Crystal Delights Rainbow Pony Tail, $124.95, available at Crystal Delights.
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Photo: Courtesy of F-Machine.
F-Machine Gigolo

This one’s for your friend who has watched so much Westworld that she really wants to know what it would be like to be intimate with an actual sex machine. The F-Machine Gigolo ain’t cheap, but it is travel-friendly and apartment-sized, with a state-of-the-art 40-Watt 24v high-torque motor. Its main feature is that it never, ever gets tired of plowing you.

F-Machine Pro II, $549, available at F-Machine.
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Photo: Courtesy of ElectroErotic.
Neon Wand From Kinklab’s ElectroErotic

You may have heard of the Violet Wand or Tens Unit for kinky fun with electro-stimulation, but this nifty Neon Wand with a whole plethora of attachments is even more adorable and easy to use. Great for your kinky friend who is an enthusiast of strong and unusual sensations, or for that dirty mad scientist in your life.

ElectroErotic Neon Wand, $80, available at Kinklab.
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Photo: Courtesy of Girl Sex 101.
Girl Sex 101

Give this fantastic tome to someone who has sex with women (even/especially if that woman is you). Give this book to someone who loves comics, or someone who loves erotic fiction; it has both, in addition to thorough (nonfiction) sexual instruction from author Allison Moon and a panel of guest experts (which, full disclosure, does include yours truly).

Girl Sex 101, $30, available at Girl Sex 101.
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Photo: Courtesy of Oh Joy.
Oh Joy Sex Toy

This series of published collections of Erica Moen’s popular webcomic sex toy reviews makes the perfect gift for several reasons. It’s a fun, positive, refreshingly non-judgemental take on sexuality, filled with expertly-drawn images and adorable puns. And it’s also a highly informative consumer guide that can help someone choose the vibrator, porn, strap-on harness, or butt plug that’s right for them. Buy it for a friend who is nervous about getting her first sex toy, or get it for you and your partner to peruse before shopping together.

Oh Joy
Sex Toy Books, $55, available at Topato.
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Photo: Courtesy of Haka.
Glitter Cuffs

Sometimes BDSM is all about dark, severe seriousness. But most of the time, it’s about fun and fantasy and laughter and personality, which makes these glitter cuffs the perfect bondage accoutrements. Whether you know someone who might want to use them as a fashion statement at a play party or for more, ahem, utilitarian purposes, these unique cuffs show off the playful side of bondage life.

Haka Glitter Cuffs, $38.99, available at Smitten Kitten.
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Photo: Courtesy of Babeland.
Leo Dildo

The perfect strap-on dildo for someone who loves super stiff penetration. The gold, sparkly design gives it a playful style. Great for your most theatrical, flamboyant friend.

Babeland Leo Dildo, $70, available at Babeland.
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