Mascara Tears, A History

Photo: Courtesy of Big Machine Records.
In Steel Magnolias, Truvy Jones says that laughter through tears is her favorite emotion. We, on the other hand, are deeply moved by makeup through tears. Let’s be real with each other: If your sentiments run so deep you’re willing to sacrifice your face over it, then the telenovela life has thrown at you boasts drama of a Greek-tragedy level.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here is a definitive history of mascara-tears moments in pop culture. Check 'em out, and maybe brush on some waterproof lash lengthener this week.       
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Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
Lauren Conrad’s Unforgettable Cryfest On The Hills
Who could forget LC’s confrontation with Audrina in this oft-GIF'd moment from season 4? LC wants to let the past be the past, even with regard to her (formerly) fierce eyeliner look.
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Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Glenn Close’s Scary Tears In Fatal Attraction
Bunny-boiling, a super-sexy Michael Douglas in his prime, and a disturbing last goodbye/suicide attempt: This movie has it all. Alex Forrest’s mascara tears in this scene are not gonna be IGNORED, Dan.
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Photo: Courtesy of Big Machine Records.
Taylor Swift’s Chic Breakdown In “Blank Space”
In the video for her hit single, Taylor’s avatar acts out the clingy, crazy-girl emotional tendencies she’s frequently accused of by the media. What’s better than a combo of a sexy gentleman, a white horse, a judicious use of midriffs, and a lone mascara tear as the perfect punctuation to a glamorous cat-eye?
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Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
Snooki’s Meltdown On Jersey Shore
Before Snooki and Jionni were a for-realsies item, the former lost her shit when the latter yelled at her in a club full of fist-pumpers. Snooki doesn’t deserve this right now, and neither does her carefully applied eye makeup.
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Photo: Courtesy of Columbia Records.
Beyoncé’s Tear-Streaked “Why Don’t You Love Me” Moment
Beyoncé’s portrayal of a scorned '50s housewife ignited a retail scavenger hunt for swiftly sold-out Chanel robin’s egg blue polish — and made us consider wearing non-waterproof lash lengtheners while we do a little light housewerk.
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Photo: Courtesy of Annapurna Pictures.
Jennifer Lawrence’s Not-So-Ugly Cry In American Hustle
Her Long Island housewife character served up a special treatise on the appealing/appalling nature of a beloved scented nail lacquer she wore throughout the film, which she described as a mix of flowers and garbage. This led her to succumb to a cockamamie cry session, which her mascara did not survive. RIP — but at least you got an Oscar nom!
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