That being said, we made a slew of appointments to unearth uncommon ingredients, life-changing facials, and inspired workouts that yield anything but half-baked (or RHOBH!) results. From a bull-testicle hair mask (seriously) to a placenta facial, these might make you squirm, but we promise there's not a Death Becomes Her potion in the bunch. So, click through for our oddball approach to polishing your best assets. Then, get booking, baby!
Photos: Via The Broot; Lancer Dermatology
Off-The-Wall Spa Treatments
Bull-Testicle Broth Hair Mask, $35
When we first covered The Broot, sure, we thought the hair-mask bar was innovative, but this particular tress-treatment ingredient shocked us. Usage of the oddity has been passed down for generations in owner Samira Asemanfar's family, and her stylists actually bake the testicles to extract the essential nutrients that strengthen the hair shaft and prompt hair growth. Yep, it's ballsy, but we swear by it!
The Broot, 1626 Montana Avenue (near 17th Street); 310-230-5317.
Lancer Dermatology Placenta Facial, $500
Celebs are all over this edgy procedure, since it notably reduces signs of aging and bestows that rosy teenage glow. You may want to stop reading if you just downed your breakfast, but the magical results stem from a biological protein found in a living elixir of human placenta that's applied over the face, chest, earlobes, eyelids, and shoulders.
Lancer Dermatology, 440 North Rodeo Drive (near South Santa Monica Boulevard); 310-278-8444.
10-Carat Facial At Beverly Wilshire Spa, $800
This appointment is more glamorous than grody, but it's unorthodox nonetheless. After getting doused in a bevy of Natura Bissé products and crushed diamonds and the jewel's dust, this is the most youthful our skin has looked since the fifth grade. And, we know you'd rather see the dazzlers on your finger, but hey, they look good on your face, too!
Beverly Wilshire Spa, 9500 Wilshire Boulevard (at South Rodeo Drive); 310-275-5200.
Sonya Dakar's Snake-Venom Facial, $385
This baby has bite! Instead of going the Botox route, we suggest you hit up the celebrated Century City spa to paralyze those muscles with a synthetic snake-venom serum (they've dubbed it "syn-ake"). Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, and Demi Moore are just a few bold-faced names who've opted out of injectables for the fang fanfare.
Sonya Dakar Clinic, 9975 Santa Monica Boulevard (at Moreno Drive); 310-553-7344.
Equinox Facials, prices vary
If you didn't know, this scene-y sweat factory has a state-of-the-art spa, too. It offers a 24-Carat Gold Facial, which with its gilt powder and silk extracts, brings on the bling for a Midas touch of radiant skin. Then, there's the Caviar Indulgence Signature Facial, blending roe (recognize this ingredient from the sushi bar?), marine DNA, collagen, quince extract, CoQ10, and sodium hyaluronate to put your most polished and firm face forward. Lastly, the club offers a super-sweet Chocolate Facial, infusing the edible's antioxidant effects to optimize elasticity.
Equinox, 10220 Constellation Boulevard (at Solar Way); 310-552-0420.
Ultherapy At DMH Aesthetics, prices vary
This non-surgical approach to a facelift uses an ultrasound to project your face's underlying tissue onto a screen to target areas where heat should be applied. The skin responds to the whole procedure by producing a load of collagen to lift and tighten up that facade. Gravity's got nothing on this technology!
DMH Aesthetics, 111 North Larchmont Boulevard (near West 1st Street); 888-963-9032.
The Peninsula Spa Body Treatments, prices vary
One of our top spas in L.A. for a regular old massage has a few funky gems hidden on its menu. The Esspresson Limon Firm and Fit treatment employs a lymphatic drainage technique combined with a South American coffee oil infused with cinnamon to purify and whip your limbs into shape. Another cool option is the Brazillian Propolis Body Wrap, which utilizes a healing factor found in Brazilian honeybees that's high in antioxidants and reaps holistic results. We can only imagine the shipping and receiving department's abundant load of exotic imports on the hotel's docks!
The Peninsula Spa, 9882 South Santa Monica Boulevard (near Charleville Boulevard); 310-551-2888.
CoolSculpting, prices vary
The pedestrian term for this avant-garde setup is "freeze the fat," and in essence, that's exactly what is happening. The chilling tool is an awesome alternative to liposuction with zero downtime, and we've personally seen it deplete post-pregnancy muffin-tops. This is how you handle love handles!
The Stevens Institute, 4644 Lincoln Boulevard, Suite 552 (near Bali Way); 877-298-9915.
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