Here's How To Have The Best Poop, Ever

Photographed by Winnie Au.
Pooping: We all do it. We all joke about it (or, at least those of us who still have the humor of 10-year-olds). But are we doing it right? What if we made pooping more than just a bodily function and elevated it to a time to relax, rejuvenate, and reset? Sure, you may not be able to create the perfect Zen zone everywhere (looking at you, office bathroom), but if your home is your castle, why can't your toilet be your porcelain throne?

We've rounded up 15 ways to make going number two the number-one best part of your day — with just a few items, your bathroom really can become the most luxe room in your house. Click through to see our picks.
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Feel truly relaxed from the minute you sit down with a heated toilet seat that can be attached to most standard toilets. Oh, and it comes with a nightlight in the bowl.

Brondell LumaWarm Heated Toilet Seat, $111.23, available at Home Depot.
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You've seen the viral ads promising the Squatty Potty will help you poop like a unicorn. (If you haven't, allow us to fill you in.) But maybe you weren't so excited by the plastic, clunky look of the original. Well, meet the Squatty Potty Slim: All the benefits of the original, now with more style.

Squatty Potty Slim, $60, available at Squatty Potty.
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Sometimes, the best offense is a good defense. Having a bathroom that smells nice all the time makes it a more pleasant place to hang out. Plus, it doesn't get any more low-maintenance than a cactus you never have to water.

Cactus Porcelain Diffuser, $40, available at Anthropologie.
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An easy way to keep reading material on hand — and a good reason to stop taking your phone in there with you, goshdarnit!

InterDesign Classico Magazine and Tissue Stand, $32.95, available at Joss & Main.
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Or, really class up your reading selection with this mirrored magazine holder.

Venetian Gems Mirror Magazine Holder, $171.38, available at Wayfair.
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You're probably not the only one who poops in your bathroom. Give your guests the opportunity to leave a (more lasting) memento to remember them by.

Knock Knock Bathroom Guest Book, $15, available at Knock Knock.
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This clever solution ensures there is always plenty of TP on hand, while proving that "whimsical" and "toilet paper" can belong in the same sentence.

Uncommon Goods Cloudy Day Toilet Paper Storage, $99, available at Uncommon Goods.
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Or skip wiping and get clean the European way — with a bidet. Sounds crazy? It actually saves water and cleans where normal toilet paper can't. And — thanks to Tushy — anyone can have one with this easy-to-install attachment.

Tushy Cool Tushy Classic, $57, available at Tushy.
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In the immortal, edited-for-radio words of OutKast, I know you like to think your shh don't stink, but lean a little bit closer can't smell anything?! That's thanks to Poo-Pourri, the before-you-go toilet spray that camouflages any unpleasant odors before they have a chance to spread. Seriously — just check out the 4.5-star Amazon rating.

Poo-Pourri Original Citrus, 19.98, available at Amazon.
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Always keep a plunger nearby in case of emergencies. While you might not be able to find a cute one, you can at least buy a version that's sleek and easy to store — and, dare we say, stylish?

Simplehuman Toilet Plunger, $29.99, available at Bed Bath & Beyond.
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Some on-theme reading.

Kindred Black 100 Cheeks, $35, available at Kindred Black.
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If Poo-Pourri isn't your thing, you can always de-stink the old-fashioned way, with matches. Stash 'em in this helpful squirrel, which doubles as a match strike.

Jonathan Adler Squirrel Match Strike, $42, available at Jonathan Adler.
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Or keep some long-burning matches for times when, y'know, you need them to burn long.

Skeem Long-Burning Matches, $18, available at Terrain.
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Keeping a cute candle nearby can't hurt, either.

Paddywax Lemonflower & Mint Ceramic Candle, $26, available at Paddywax.
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And finally, be sure to wash your hands afterward. But we don't need to tell you that, right? Right?

Modcloth That Suds It Up Soap Dispenser, $21.99, available at Modcloth.