8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Oct 14 2015

Photo via Ben Reininga.

The 5 Democratic candidates for president hashed things out in Las Vegas last night.


The cycle's first Democratic debate took place on Tuesday at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas. VP Joe Biden didn't swoop in and join, but there was one uninvited guest, Donald Trump, who live-tweeted (or live-trolled) the whole thing. (Refinery29)
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In a move that practically screams “Republicans, what’s good?” Planned Parenthood will no longer accept reimbursement for costs associated with fetal tissue donation.

In an effort to disarm the GOP’s incessant and ill-informed attacks, Planned Parenthood will immediately stop accepting reimbursements for the cost of transporting fetal tissue donations to medical researchers, despite this practice being completely legal. The healthcare organization will now pay for donations out-of-pocket. “Opponents of safe and legal abortion have turned patently false claims about our role in fetal tissue donation into fodder to advance their extreme political agenda,” Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards wrote in a letter to the National Institutes of Health. “Today, we’re taking their smokescreen away.” (NPR)
Playboy will no longer include pictures of naked women (since print magazines are the real way to make money these days).

In perhaps the most shocking news of 2015, Playboy announced that as part of a spring redesign, it will no longer include nude photos of women. The iconic magazine’s founder and avid supporter of the smoking jacket industry Hugh Hefner signed off on the change, citing the need to stay current and relevant in a time when, as Playboy Enterprises CEO Scott Flanders told The New York Times, “you’re one click away from every sex act imaginable for free.” Playboy will still feature sexy ladies, of course, except now Playmates will appear in “suggestive poses” instead of in the buff. (Refinery29)
A woman is suing her 12-year-old nephew for $127,000 after his exuberant hug allegedly caused her to break her wrist.

A New York woman is going above and beyond to teach her nephew a lesson after his enthusiastic hug left her with a broken wrist — she is suing the 12-year-old for $127,000 in damages. And you thought your family drama was worthy of headlines. Jennifer Connell alleges that upon arriving at her nephew’s birthday party, she was greeted by the boy “shouting, ‘Auntie Jen, I love you!’” and his body “flying at” her. (How atrocious.) The momentum of the boy’s hug caused the two to tumble to the ground, breaking Connell’s wrist in the process. According to Connell, her life has simply been a nightmare since the accident: “I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate.” (Refinery29)
Law & Order: SVU is producing a Duggars-inspired episode

Do you hear that noise? That’s the sound of Law & Order producer Dick Wolf straight ripping his stories from the headlines. Just when you thought SVU couldn’t get any better, the show’s latest season will take on the Duggars scandal. The episode, set to premiere in November, centers around a couple with 10 children and a hit reality show who must face the detectives’ scrutiny after their 13-year-old daughter turns up pregnant. (Boing Boing)
Donald Trump is going to host Saturday Night Live. This is not a drill. Shoot your TV and spend the rest of your days actually reading the articles in Playboy.

There really is no escaping Donald Trump: NBC announced that the GOP presidential candidate/sentient Halloween jack-o'-lantern will host Saturday Night Live on November 7. Everyone’s favorite enigmatic fairy queen Sia will appear as the musical guest. Surprisingly this isn’t the first time Trump has appeared in the famed Studio 8H: back in April 2004, when Hoobastank was still popular, the nascent politician parlayed his Apprentice success into a hosting gig, poking fun at himself alongside his SNL impersonator Darrell Hammond. (Variety)
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Tracy Morgan performed standup for the first time since the horrific car accident that put him into a coma for two weeks, which is perfect since ’tis the season for blasting Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.

Ladies, lift your night cheese in a salute to Tracy Morgan and his triumphant return to what he does best: making people laugh. Just 16 months after a lethal six-car crash that took his friend and collaborator James McNair’s life, Morgan made his first appearance on a comedy club’s stage, treating the audience at New York’s Comedy Cellar to an impromptu standup set. “Picking up the pieces,” Morgan tweeted along with a picture of his performance. The comedian and 30 Rock star’s comeback continues this weekend when he hosts Saturday Night Live. (Gothamist)
Starbucks now delivers to the Empire State Building, or, as the Starbucks barista wrote on the side of its cup, the Gempyerr Nayte Billdung.

Further endearing itself to beleaguered and bleary-eyed office workers everywhere, Starbucks is launching a beverage delivery service, sweetly named Green Apron Delivery. For now, the pilot program is being tested at just one address, New York’s Empire State Building, but company officials say they have every intention to expand. Delivery orders are conducted through a dedicated site that requires a My Starbucks Reward account to use. There is no delivery minimum but orders are capped at 15 items, at least for now. (Wired)
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