Sriracha, the world's favorite spicy goodness, officially has three months left to live. (Salon)
In more annoying news, the third Divergent book will be split into two movies (just like every other YA franchise). (Vulture)
Oh, and it turns out the NSA has known about Heartbleed for years. (Bloomberg)
If the Internet hasn't crashed by June, expect Amazon to release its own smartphone. (The Verge)
Finally, on the climate front, a new report from the U.N. says we have about 15 years to counteract global warming before the damage is irreversible. (The New York Times)
Illustrated by Ly Ngo.