We Wore "Vagina Lipstick" — & It Made Everyone Uncomfortable

In the House of Representatives, saying the word 'vagina' is akin to muttering 'bomb' in an airport — enough to get you kicked out real fast. In our offices, it's enough to make a whole bunch of otherwise funny, outgoing, body-positive feminists take a hard pass on participating in a story that involves them studying the shade of theirs, then announcing it to the world on their lips.
But because apparently there are no limits as to how far — and past how many folds — some of us will go to find the elusive ~perfect lipstick~, we find ourselves here, at the labia minora, after getting mixed results with our nipples.
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As it turns out, there are quite a few different shades down there (determining where there actually is proved tricky for a bunch of people without MDs) — and they're all really, really pretty! Now, someone go let Mike Pence know he doesn't need to be so afraid.
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"This was all my idea, which meant it was on me to explain to everyone, out loud in an open floor plan, exactly which part of their vagina I wanted them to color match. Because I am not a physiologist, I may have confused some people. Or everyone. In my mind, we were going deep. 'Just the tip' type shit. Does 'area above hole' have a medical name?

"Anyway, while my personal reference photo is so graphic I might have to go into Witness Protection should someone at the Genius Bar ever see it on my iCloud, the lipstick that matches is lovely!" — Alix Tunell, Senior Beauty Editor
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Context Liquid Lacquer in Romantic, $24, available at Context Skin.
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"This experiment might be the first time I've used the words 'labia minora' since health class. It's also the first time I've ever hoisted my leg up and swatched lipstick down the side of my inner thigh looking for a color match. (I sought outside assistance for nipple matching, but this was definitely a solo activity.) Truthfully, the color ended up being about the same as my nipples. A soft pink that's flattering enough — but also a constant personal reminder of how I still need to book that bikini wax." — Cat Quinn, Beauty Director
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Dior Rouge Dior in Hypnotic Matte, $35, available in August at Dior.
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"Remember how I said I'd repurpose my nipple lipstick selfies (of my face, not my breasts, pervs) for those trying times when guys ask for nudes? Well, I think that I have a few more to add to the album. At first, I was a little self-conscious while finding my shades. After some close inspection and a whole lot of zooming in, I noticed that my nether regions were sort of a dark... greige? Not a very hot description for sexting, honestly. But, after topping a chocolate brown matte with a metallic gray (this one didn't shimmer all that much), I think I'm growing a lot more comfortable with my natural... color palette." — Khalea Underwood, Beauty Writer
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NARS Powermatte Lip Pigment in Done It Again, $26, available July 6 at NARS Cosmetics.
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Maybelline Color Sensational Matte Metallic in Silk Stone, $7.49, available at Maybelline.
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"First of all, I refused to believe that my vagina was, in fact, this bubblegum color. But alas, after a solid 4,833,920 pictures in all sorts of lighting in every room in my apartment, I learned the truth — but that doesn’t mean the matching lipstick shade looked as great on my face. Unlike my nipples, which veered more on the reddish-nude scale and therefore complemented my skin tone, my V is apparently a bright pink that should never see the light of day — even if the formula itself was pretty hydrating…" — Kelsey Castañon, Beauty News Editor
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Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Primrose, $5.47, available at Jet.
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"I just intuitively know to trust the puss because this is actually one of my go-to shades. I added some golden gloss on top because juicy seems appropriate here, and it's actually so accurate. Trust me on this. This may be a new obsession." — Sesali Bowen, Entertainment Writer
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MAC Lipstick in Antique Velvet, $17, available at MAC Cosmetics.
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“I’ve been in possession of a vagina for the past quarter century now, and yet I think this is the first time I’ve ever really taken a good, hard look at what’s inside. I was surprised to discover that my labia minora is not a true light pink, as I’d imagined it to be, but rather a darker, rosier pink with neutral brown undertones. Who knew! I found my match in a new Rouge Dior lipstick called Eccentric, which leaves me zero for zero on shade names — my nipple lipstick was Cat Lady. Name notwithstanding, I’m really into this one. 10/10, will wear. (FYI, Eccentric won’t be out until August, so you’ll have to wait a couple months if you want your lips to look like my vagina.)” — Rachel Krause, Beauty Writer
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Dior Rouge Dior in Eccentric, $35, available in August at Dior.
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"I've spent a lot of time looking at my vagina, my vulva, and its surrounding areas — something I find 100% healthy. So, taking a second look to determine the color of my labia minora wasn't weird; in fact, I already had a good idea of what color it was. After deciding that the lips of my vag veered brownish pink, I went through my stash and landed on Charlotte Tilbury's Bond Girl. I wear this shade occasionally, so it wasn't strange to be walking around in it and the whole thing provided a few minutes of giggles for me and the bf." — Mi-Anne Chan, Beauty Writer
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Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution Lipstick in Bond Girl, $34, available at Charlotte Tilbury.
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"I normally would save the secret of my vagina's color for my OB/GYN or the guy who bought me a whiskey sour last night, but I'll make an exception. Unsurprisingly, the shade nearly matched my nipples, but instead of a pinky, warm undertone, it seems as though my labia boasts a sort of 5 o’clock shadow that makes it inherently darker. Luckily, I already love this formula and color, so it's good to know that the next time I rock it, I’ll be showing pride for my lady bits." — Samantha Sasso, Beauty Assistant
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Jouer Long-Wear Lip Crème in Noisette, $18, available at Jouer Cosmetics.
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"I love this color. I'm really into browns because I love the '90s vibe. I'll be wearing it for the rest of the day!" — Ally Hickson, Social Media Editor
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Mented #5, $16.50, available at Mented Cosmetics.
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Looking for more lipstick adventures? Watch this video to learn about making the DIY galaxy lipstick we'll be rocking all summer.
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