Third-Wave Water Arrives, Coffee Snobbery Has Peaked

Photo: Courtesy of Third Wave Water's Facebook
In case you were worried that there would never again be a cultural moment as impactful and divisive as the dawning of third-wave feminism, never fear — third-wave water is here! And it's taking the world of coffee snobbery to a new level. You have permission to roll your eyes now.

Eater reports that Third Wave Water comes in capsule form and is "like prep school for your coffee." It was created by professional coffee snobs Taylor Minor and Charles Nick in order to replace minerals — such as calcium, sodium, and magnesium — that the water might be missing due to some flaw in its "terroir" (the company's website uses that word with adorable but somewhat unsettling earnestness).

It seems the market for bizzare-o artisanal waters (or almost-waters) will never be truly full. We've already debunked the myth that alkaline water is some sort of magic bullet for all that ails you, and we're wary of lingo about "mineralization" improvements that doesn't come with a bunch of hard science backing it up. But hey, Third Wave is on a quest for taste, not for a health cure. So if adding a $1 capsule to your water pre-brewing makes your French press sing and your morning sparkle, go for it.
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