Feast Your Eyes On The 12 Woodsmen Of The Zodiac

Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Do you ever wish your horoscope was a little more rugged? Or that your astrological sign was represented not by a crab or a lion or a ram, but by the Brawny paper towel man? If you answered "yes" to either of these questions, artist Michael Sanderson's "Constellation Park" illustration series is what you're looking for.

In the series, Sanderson reimagines the 12 signs of the Zodiac as muscular outdoorsmen, including a rock climber, a forest guide, and a fisherman. These images are accompanied by tongue-in-cheek personality profiles, which provide ample nature-inspired metaphors while highlighting each sign's strengths and weaknesses.

We're not 100% sure why this exists either, but we kind of love it. Some of the fellas' poses will make you blush (hello, Sagittarius), and we're willing to bet that that's the point. This is clearly not your average astrology guide.

Click through to meet your sign's outdoorsy male counterpart and read Sanderson's cheeky astrological assessments. For Sanderson's next astrological project, might we suggest he depict women in all of their badass, outdoorsy gloriousness?

All the images are available for purchase through Sanderson's shop.
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Aries

"The brashest and boldest of the bunch. Strong body, weak mind. He'll ram headfirst into any situation to obtain anything he has his heart set on; establishing his place in society as an alpha male to be reckoned with. If he can't have his way through brute force, he's got the rugged good looks to make you reconsider."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Taurus

"Possessive and uncompromising, he takes pride in what he owns and will see to it that everyone knows what's his. A ruthless adversary if you're the unfortunate owner of something he desires. He'll leave his mark on anyone he touches, pursuing what he wants with bullseye precision. Though the most tactile of the Zodiac, he's not a touch-and-go kind of guy — he plays for keeps."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Gemini

"Sibling rivalry within keeps the dynamic Gemini in a constant battle between two sides of 'themselves.' However, two minds are always better than one, if only they could agree to work together and join forces, great things could be achieved. Anything you can do, you can do better; you can do anything better than you. Right?"
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Cancer

"One of the few who finds security in being tied up. For the sentimental Cancer, tying the knot is a matter of life and death when you're climbing such great heights for the one you love. It's a long fall down; so slow and steady does it now. Keep on clinging on."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Leo

"One of the most loyal guys around, for the small price of all your attention. He's hungry for your praise, so keep feeding his ego or he'll eat you alive. The vain and charismatic Leo lives for your love; lay it on thick and this king of beasts will help you thrive in the social jungle."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Virgo

"He believes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. Not one to be a trailblazer by any definition; the diligent, straight-laced Virgo plays by the field guide and remains confident, so long as he keeps on the beaten path. What he lacks in imagination he makes up for in direction and will most certainly find his way."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Libra

"Shallow and idealistic, he's full of contradictions and uses his diplomatic reputation to mine something of worth and beauty out of the rockiest of situations. Assessing value on his own weighted scale; should he decide the work outweighs the reward, he'll likely abandon the dig entirely. Always weighing his options and looking for a shinier, more attainable find. He's not one to dig too deep, really."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Scorpio

"His presence is sharply felt, but he'll see to it his absence stings even more. Intensity and brilliance both manifest from a cold, dark place, in which Scorpio thrives with his thick, hard exterior. Every chip on his shoulder is an education he'll use to chip away at yours. The thicker the ice grows, the higher he'll climb."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Sagittarius

"The original wolf in sheep's clothing; the socially adaptable Sagittarius will learn a variety of information, skills and personas to build his arsenal of characters in garnering the trust of his potential prey. He lives for the thrill of the hunt but also in fear of being captured himself; for nothing is worse in his mind than being in a cage, or a trophy on someone else's wall. In his eyes, letting you go is an act of mercy; why're you mad?"
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Capricorn

"His home is his kingdom. Cold, discerning, and materialistic, the driven Capricorn puts more effort into material gains than personal connections; but he can be quite the charmer if, of course, you're in the position to help him advance higher up the echelon. He's a sucker for a crown. A true ice king. Let it go, bro."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Aquarius

"Aquarius is thirsty; in every sense of the word. He's a believer in quantity over quality; more is more and his cup runneth over. He spreads himself thin and is looking to meet as many people as possible, while never remaining stagnant. Innovative and witty, he's respected by many but close to few. As distant as an ocean and just as spontaneous. It's hard to hold water in your hands for long so drink him up while you can."
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Courtesy of Michael Sanderson.
Pisces

"Row, row, rowing his boat gently down the stream; life is but a dream to the critically laid-back Pisces. Going wherever the flow takes him without so much as making a ripple. Easy to catch but hard to keep; it's in his nature to drift away without having much to say on the matter. He'll cooly remind you there's plenty of fish in the sea."
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