Dear iOS, Thank You For These Hilariously Misconstrued Voicemails

Photographed by Alexandra Gavillet.
A friend perfectly summed up the current state of leaving voicemails when she began a recent message as follows:

"Hi, it's me, I mean it's Sarah. I can't remember the last time I left a voicemail, but well, here goes."

Voicemails aren't extinct, but they sometimes feel like they are. At this point I really only leave a message when I call my parents. And the only voicemails I get are from them, too — or Duane Reade telling me that a prescription refill is ready. Yes, there's the very occasional message from a friend like Sarah. But mostly, it's just Mom, Dad, and Duane Reade.

Even with relatively few voicemails taking up space on my phone, listening to them always seems like such a chore. That's why I was thrilled when Apple announced this past spring that iOS 10 would include voicemail transcription. At last, a way to read messages without having to play the recording. There's just one problem: automated digital voice transcriptions are usually riddled with errors — and iOS is no exception. Click through for nine of the most hilariously inaccurate voicemail transcripts we've seen (and heard about).
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Photo: Madeline Buxton.
I'd be willing to forgive the name mistake (Maddy can, after all, sound like Robbie), but the rest of this transcription is just a tad bit tricky to decipher.
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Photo: Madeline Buxton.
If there really is a media gaming healthcare alliance out there, I want to know about it. But that's not really what my dad was talking about in this case. Nor was there any talk of gas from the so-called entrepreneurs. (At least, none to my knowledge.)
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Photo: Madeline Buxton.
Hey Siri, am I Siri? Answer: No.
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Photo: via @CLTruelsen.
Dear school systems around the country, we really hope you don't actually have "no-brainer" superintendents in charge. Fortunately, this was just a transcription error.
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Photo: via @cami_galeano13.
Do tell, iOS, what is a "baby door?" And why does it need to know about a test of an emergency system?
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Photo: via @dolphinsaregreat.
This transcription, left on one Redditor's voicemail, is basically like a host on Westworld who has gone totally rogue.
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Photo: via @Ross2552.
...Unless this Redditor's Grandma actually is a Westworld host, chances are slim that a service technician would be repairing her.
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Photo: via @Jacob_Brogan.
Between the "good ass," "baby stuff," and "yummy roast," things got a little crazy — and unintelligible — here.
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Photo: via @wilw.
One can only dream of someday being called Edwin the bird.
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Photo: Madeline Buxton.
And then, sometimes you think that iOS has messed up a transcription. But really, it's absolutely right and well, that's just your dad being your dad.

There really is nothing wrong with a frying pan.
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