What It Actually Means To Be Asexual

If there's anything we've learned about sexuality, it's that it is complicated. And as much progress as we've made in dismantling the notion of the gender binary and recognizing the full spectrum of sexuality, we still haven't seen quite as much recognition for asexuality.

Part of this is because many of us still aren't completely sure what asexuality means. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network defines an asexual person as someone who does not experience sexual attraction to others. This doesn't necessarily mean that you don't get crushes on people, or even that you don't feel sexual arousal at all. In fact, asexuality itself is a spectrum, and there is considerable diversity within the asexual community. Still, since asexuality is only starting to become the subject of research, we have a lot to learn.

However, thanks to the growing number of online communities, those who identify as asexual are getting more support than ever.

In this video, one person gets real with Refinery29 and explains what it really means to be asexual, from the moments of self-discovery to helping others feel comfortable in their own skin.

The gap between what we learned in sex ed and what we're learning through sexual experience is big — way too big. So we're helping to connect those dots by talking about the realities of sex, from how it's done to how to make sure it's consensual, safe, healthy, and pleasurable all at once. Check out more here.


More from Sex & Relationships