A true artist would never look at Michelangelo's David
and think, You know what? I think I can improve on that
. No writer would try to take another stab at Catcher in the Rye
. And yet, Hollywood seems hell-bent on churning out one movie remake after another. They're not films. They're refried beans.
Okay, so the all-female Ghostbusters
reboot was great. We liked Jurassic World
. There have been exceptions. Still, we can't resist shaking our fist in protest every time we read that Dirty Dancing
is getting remade, or that Channing Tatum is playing a merman
in a new take on Splash
. With all due respect to Chan, he is the emperor of reheating movies in the microwave. 21 Jump Street
? A Ghostbusters
reboot of his own? Splash
? Dude can't Netflix and chill without getting his agent on the phone.
hits theaters August 19 and The Magnificent Seven
press tour gets underway, we'd like to issue a warning to Hollywood: Touch these classic films and we'll revolt. (Did that sound menacing?)