Most of us look back fondly upon the TV dads of the ‘90s. You remember blankly staring into that gigantic box and wishing Stu Pickles was your real dad or that you at least you were friends with a bunch of babies that talked. You remember smoking-hot dad abs and smiles that just wouldn’t quit. (Hellooooo, Uncle Jesse.) And then you also remember people like Ray Barone, someone who was a dad, but holy shit was that guy boring.
But in retrospect, just how “dad” were these dads? They weren’t necessarily rocking a pair of New Balances and a fanny pack every day, but they weren’t all the “cool dad,” either.
We at @WeRateDads
are the professional dadperts — dad experts, to the layman. Since we work tirelessly to bring you that sweet, sweet dad meat on Twitter, we figured that we were the best people to answer that very question.
We rated these TV parentals on a scientific 10-point scale that has no flaws, whatsoever, unlike Alan Thicke’s haircut. So, slip on a pair of Umbro shorts and crank up the Alanis to find out how Danny Tanner ranks up against dads like, well, Ray Barone. Ahh shit, I guess we have to do Ray. Okay, Ray is on this list — but so is Uncle Phil, so things should get wild.