7 Male Superheroes Who Are Clearly Wearing Too Much Makeup

Photo: Courtesy of Jay Maidment/Marvel.
Consider, for a moment, the physical and emotional toll that being a superhero must take on one's body and soul. For reference, think about how shitty you feel after a particularly strenuous week at the office — all-nighters, tight deadlines, angry bosses. As you know, all that stress and lack of sleep catches up to you, showing up first and foremost on your face: undereye bags, acne, and, eventually, wrinkles.

Okay, now ask yourself how much harder battling evil probably is than your job. Saving the planet involves some rough hours (pretty much the graveyard shift, if not 'round the clock). And the duties are stressful, to say the least: annihilating archnemeses, saving the human species, and always racing against time.

So I ask you: Where are Superman's undereye bags? Not a wrinkle in sight, Batman? Zero stress pimples, Thor? And where is the face sweat?! No, apparently male superheroes are pore-less wonders. (New superpower: eternal baby-face.) These guys always have perfectly smooth, line-free, clear skin — and cheekbones that would take a mere mortal hours of contouring to achieve.

But we're calling bullshit, starting with Captain America. Have you seen the trailer for Captain America: Civil War? Notice Chris Evans' caked-on foundation? We're not singling him out, though. Here are seven male superheroes (including a couple supervillains) wearing way too much face makeup.