This Math Problem Is Confusing Everyone On Facebook

Just when you thought your uncle's pro-Donald Trump rants were the worst thing on your Facebook feed, a math meme has surfaced. Math is invading what should be a sacred space for cute puppy photos, cute baby photos, and eerily accurately targeted ads. Like a specter from your elementary school dreams, the equation that's been floating around asks you what number you would get if you add half a coconut, three bananas, and an apple together. Knowing, of course, that three apples added together equals 30 and four bananas minus a coconut equals two. This is what we do to children every day, guys.
Unlike the still debated dress color, this Facebook problem has a definite answer — 14, calculated by The Huffington Post UK. So it's time to return to grown-up, fruit free math. Like calculating tax deductions. Or figuring out how much you have to put toward the check if you only took, like, three chips from the group appetizer.