You Can Take A Cruise On The Titanic Soon (Yes, Really)

Tony Davies/REX Shutterstock
James Cameron films repeat themselves first as tragedy, then as farce. Karl Marx nearly said that, but what he couldn’t have known is that one of the director’s most iconic films will be entering the real world. (No, not Avatar, thankfully.)

In maritime news, the Titanic is back. Well, not quite yet, but Australian billionaire Clive Palmer is building a near-exact replica of the ship to sail along with his Blue Star Line cruise fleet, The Independent reports.

The ship will be almost identical to the original, only 12 feet wider in compliance with maritime safety regulations. Another difference is an adequate supply of lifeboats, a marine evacuation system, and a welded (rather than riveted) hull.

12 feet wider is one thing, but adequate lifeboats and a non-period hull construction? You might as well be sailing on a fucking dinghy.

For those worried about keeping up appearances, replica lifeboats will be visible on the main deck. No word yet on whether or not you will be able to replica die of hypothermia while your replica love clings to replica life on a replica plank in the middle of the still insanely real North Atlantic ocean.

The ship, which offers first, second, and third class cabins, will be 885 feet long, 173 feet high, and weigh 40,000 tons, the Belfast Telegraph reports. 840 cabins spread across nine floors will carry 900 crew members and 2,400 passengers.

"The new Titanic will of course have modern evacuation procedures, satellite controls, digital navigation and radar systems and all those things you'd expect on a 21st century ship,” James McDonald, Blue Star Line Marketing Director, told The Independent.

The original Titanic sunk on its maiden voyage, killing 1,500 passengers and crew in one of the most iconic sea disasters ever. You've probably seen the movie.

Titanic II will make its maiden voyage from Jiangsu in Eastern China to Dubai, not Southampton to New York as did the original. What could possibly go wrong?

More from News

Chrissy Teigen confirms that her life is just too too cute
The actor will not be attending a screening of the film Voyage of Time this evening. Though he narrates the documentary film, Pitt says he will not be ...
Two weeks ago, Nick Gordon was found responsible for the 2015 death of one-time girlfriend Bobbi Kristina Brown in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by her ...
You could spend all day critiquing the media for the lack of compelling content created by and starring women. But why not put the kind of female-centric...
Just when we thought we couldn't handle any more Hollywood romances ending, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber broke up. "Over the past few months we've ...
Viola Davis wants people to rethink what it means to be a survivor of sexual assault. In a speech benefitting the Rape Foundation, the How to Get Away ...
We've been waiting for this news ever since President Obama announced that the White House would host South by South Lawn. The official lineup is here, ...
Dusty Rose Levine 9/21/16 A photo posted by Adam Levine (@adamlevine) on Sep 23, 2016 at 9:40pm PDT Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo Levine have ...
Update: Marion Cotillard's longtime partner, Guillaume Canet, has also weighed in on the Pitt-Jolie divorce rumors. In a post on Instagram, he wrote a long...
Fact: When a woman turns 30, she can do whatever the fuck she wants. To be sure, a woman can do just about anything just about anytime she wants. The ...
Last month, Star Wars star Daisy Ridley abruptly quit Instagram. The internet assumed that online bullying spurred her departure, because, well, the ...
Kylie Jenner has been summoned for questioning in a lawsuit against Tyga, TMZ reports. Before October 6, Jenner will appear for examination in a case ...
Pharrell Williams, the man responsible for "Happy," the song that would not go away, is expecting another child with his wife, Helen Lasichanh, E! Online...
Think about your nineteenth birthday. Perhaps it was not as special as your eighteenth birthday, but still a good birthday. You're an adult. Maybe you're...