Donald Trump is probably really, really angry about this.
Or maybe he's able to find humor in the bizarre?
Actually...eh, probably not.
It all started with a guy named Elijah Daniel. The Los Angeles comedian had a late-night epiphany that he was going to write a short story about Trump and a mysterious paramour, based on a Huffington Post article (which has since been deleted) about Trump allegedly "paying off" a gay lover.
The title? Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy.
The main characters? Well — a young bellboy and a certain toupee-wearing billionaire. The setting? Hong Kong The genre? Erotica
The main characters? Well — a young bellboy and a certain toupee-wearing billionaire. The setting? Hong Kong The genre? Erotica
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I DEAD ASS AM WRITING A BOOK BASED OFF THIS FUCKING ARTICLE TONIGHT https://t.co/jR9v10krrN
— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) January 21, 2016Daniel then drunkenly attempted to spin the existing rumor into a crazy web of weird sexual tension and interactions, resulting in sentences like, "My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity."
And: "He stood there in front of me, like a tall stallion. With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest."
how should my character meet trump
— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) January 21, 2016this book will be live on amazon tomorrow r u going to read it
— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) January 21, 2016Much to Daniel's own surprise, it was an instant viral hit.
I just beat out the girl who wrote 50 shades of grey in the top erotica authors of amazon someone stab me
— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) January 24, 2016Everyone seems to be freaking out over it. On the Amazon page for the book, Daniel's description contains a nod to Avril Lavigne, and Fifty Shades of Grey, of course.
He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious?
It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change.
If you thought it couldn't get any funnier, Daniel managed to find a Donald Trump impersonator to record the audiobook, he said on Twitter.
I hired a Donald Trump impersonator to do the audiobook for Trump Temptations. I fucking hope you guys are ready for this.
— Elijah Daniel (@aguywithnolife) January 25, 2016Daniel cut no corners in his first erotic novella, and the public seems to agree. The title continues to be downloaded for the low price of $1.99.
All my favorite things wow @aguywithnolife (ps this book was nothing short of brilliant) pic.twitter.com/t6f8tICys9
— Alex Simon (@simonfacee) January 25, 2016It's only January and this seems like the internet story of the year. Take a look. https://t.co/UtayrR9IqL
— Supreeth (@hallidude) January 25, 2016Wow. Congrats to @aguywithnolife on his viral novel! https://t.co/FczaFuHaGa pic.twitter.com/1qYZr1rW0r
— Giffiti App (@giffitiapp) January 24, 2016Is now the appropriate time for a "make erotica great again" joke?