Yes, Donald Trump Erotica Exists — & It's Going Viral

Photo via Elijah Daniel/Amazon.
Donald Trump is probably really, really angry about this.

Or maybe he's able to find humor in the bizarre?

Actually...eh, probably not.

It all started with a guy named Elijah Daniel. The Los Angeles comedian had a late-night epiphany that he was going to write a short story about Trump and a mysterious paramour, based on a Huffington Post article (which has since been deleted) about Trump allegedly "paying off" a gay lover.

The title? Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy.

The main characters? Well — a young bellboy and a certain toupee-wearing billionaire.

The setting? Hong Kong

The genre? Erotica
Photo via Twitter.
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Daniel then drunkenly attempted to spin the existing rumor into a crazy web of weird sexual tension and interactions, resulting in sentences like, "My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity."

And: "He stood there in front of me, like a tall stallion. With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest."

Photo via Twitter.
Photo via Twitter.

Much to Daniel's own surprise, it was an instant viral hit.

Photo via Twitter.
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Everyone seems to be freaking out over it. On the Amazon page for the book, Daniel's description contains a nod to Avril Lavigne, and Fifty Shades of Grey, of course.

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious?

It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change.

If you thought it couldn't get any funnier, Daniel managed to find a Donald Trump impersonator to record the audiobook, he said on Twitter.

Photo via Twitter.

Daniel cut no corners in his first erotic novella, and the public seems to agree. The title continues to be downloaded for the low price of $1.99.

Photo via Twitter.
Photo via Twitter.
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Photo via Twitter.
Is now the appropriate time for a "make erotica great again" joke?

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