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16 Times Nic Cage's Love Interest Was Way Out Of His League

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    Hollywood loves an everyman. He's just like any average guy, except sometimes he wins the lottery, or snags a kiss from a vampire, or bursts into flames while riding his hog, realizing he's under the employ of the Devil himself. But no matter what sort of pickle he may find himself in, he's always sure to land an exceptionally beautiful female co-star. (Not that the movies treat men and women differently or anything.)

    There is perhaps no average schmo more average or more convincingly a schmo than Nicolas Cage, who is celebrating 52 years among us on January 7. From alcoholics and criminals to Wall Street hot shots and mysterious strangers, there seems to be no manner of deeply flawed, utterly unremarkable men he hasn't embodied on-screen.

    And yet somehow, he's managed to romance one gorgeous screen goddess after another, even when his wig looks like blowdried taxidermy. (It should be noted that this list could very well have been based on hair comparisons alone). Ahead, every time Cage's love interest was absurdly out of his league.




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    Raising Arizona (1987)
    Love Interest: Holly Hunter

    Even crazier than Nic Cage's character managing to heist a living baby from a crib of quintuplets is the mustachioed ex-con landing a wife as beautiful as Holly Hunter. Maybe it's the sideburns? Only the Coen brothers know the answer to this one.

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    Moonstruck (1987)
    Love Interest: Cher

    Not that Sonny Bono was exactly Fabio, but this is Cher we're talking about — prime raven-curled, high-cheekboned Cher. The moon is the only explanation.

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    Vampire's Kiss (1989)
    Love Interest: Jennifer Beals

    Jennifer Beals, of Flashdance fame, plays a vampire who bestows a supernatural kiss on Cage's ordinary schlub, thereby making his life a lot less boring. Not only are her curly mane and dagger-shaped earrings worlds away his floppy mop and drab workwear, she's of a superior species.

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    Wild at Heart (1990)
    Love Interest: Laura Dern

    Continuing on his quest to play opposite the most epic curls in Hollywood, Cage paired up with Laura Dern for this David Lynch flick about a blood-thirsty mom who's determined to kill her daughter's lover. Clearly, we're not the first to raise an eyebrow at this particular pairing.

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    Zandalee (1991)
    Love Interest: Erika Anderson

    In this erotic thriller, Cage plays Johnny Collins, a painter who falls into a torrid affair with Zandalee (Erika Anderson), the wife of an old friend. Never mind that his wig actually has bangs and a mind of its own! Or that the betrayed husband is played by Judge Reinhold, who beat out Cage for the role of Brad in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, because he's kind of a Baldwin.