Should You Have A Threesome? An Infograph

Illustrated By Elliot Salazar.
Celebrated by Britney Spears, immortalized in On The Road, enjoyed by really, really ridiculously good-looking people in Zoolander, the threesome has long been a fixture in the popular imagination. We chalk its mythical status up to the perception of threesomes as both very sexy and difficult to arrange — cue the trope of the horny dude just begging his skeptical girlfriend to consider having one. But, never fear: Hot, three-person sex is an attainable goal (if that's what you're after). If you're in a relationship, though, the emotional implications of inviting a third person into your play can be messy. That's why we crafted a handy infographic, below, to help you make sure that you and your partner are prepped for both the act and the aftermath.

For pro advice, we turned to one of our favorite sexperts, San-Francisco-based sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Her #1 Rule Of Threesomes: "You can never take a threesome back," Marin reminds us. "Once you've done it, it's done." That sounds ominous, but by imagining your mental state both during and after the sex, you can gauge whether you're ready for it. "Of course you can't know exactly what will happen after your potential threesome, but it's important to expect a mixed bag of reactions and be honest with yourself about whether you can handle all the possible outcomes," Marin adds.

What's more, in thinking through your possible reactions to three-person sex in detail, you'll figure out which boundaries to set before the experience (yes, a shared understanding of what is and isn't okay is 300% necessary). "Maybe the idea of seeing your partner have intercourse with someone else makes your stomach churn, but imagining them receiving oral sex turns you on," Marin explains. "That's a pretty good hint at what one of your boundaries could be!"

Finally, don't settle for a scenario that makes you feel anything less than comfortable. "Some couples will get so frustrated by how long the process can take that they feel tempted to lower their standards and jump on the next available opportunity," Marin tells us. "I can say from professional experience that this approach never works out well!" Follow the decision tree below to find out if you and your partner are cleared for the big three.
Illustrated By Elliot Salazar.

More from Sex & Relationships

Sexting was never my thing, and I sure as hell never thought I would even consider cybersex. I knew myself — or at least, I thought I did. I’ll get too ...
Historically, women in West Africa have not had a voice. Men decide if their wife or wives can use birth control or have access to money; fathers decide if...
Foreplay often doesn't get enough credit — not to mention time or attention. In one study of heterosexual couples published in the Journal of Sexual ...
Amber Rose doesn't do "off days." "I always feel confident," she tells us. "I never allow myself to not feel confident. I wake up and say, I’m going out ...
Aside from encountering creeps and starting conversations that just don't go anywhere, one major problem online daters face is catfishing. According to a...
A version of this story originally appeared on Shape. When it comes to female pleasure, there's enough misinformation out there to fill a book. One of ...
This article was originally published on December 18, 2015. According to stereotypes, men are the sexually voracious cheaters and women are the ...
(Paid Content) You don't need a degree in common sense to know getting involved with a coworker is a bad idea. Yet, we probably all know someone who has, ...
We're great fans of accessorizing in the bedroom. Au naturel stimulation is wonderful, but sex toys can do things that people just can't. The sex toy ...
Even as the sex toy market continues to expand, there remain a few vital "firsts" for the industry to tackle. This week, with the arrival of the Buck-Off...
The Halloween-costume-planning frenzy is officially in full swing, and we still have so many questions. Is our costume idea clever without being obscure? ...
This article was originally published on April 2, 2015 and has been updated throughout. Lube is a little like masturbation. It's a big part of most people...
It would be an understatement to say that a lot of us love superhero blockbusters. Luckily, there's really no shortage of them, but should you ever need ...
The following is an excerpt from Asa Akira's recently released memoir Dirty Thirty. Another year of wasted eggs because I chose to whore instead. “Do ...