Should You Have A Threesome? An Infograph

Illustrated By Elliot Salazar.
Celebrated by Britney Spears, immortalized in On The Road, enjoyed by really, really ridiculously good-looking people in Zoolander, the threesome has long been a fixture in the popular imagination. We chalk its mythical status up to the perception of threesomes as both very sexy and difficult to arrange — cue the trope of the horny dude just begging his skeptical girlfriend to consider having one. But, never fear: Hot, three-person sex is an attainable goal (if that's what you're after). If you're in a relationship, though, the emotional implications of inviting a third person into your play can be messy. That's why we crafted a handy infographic, below, to help you make sure that you and your partner are prepped for both the act and the aftermath.

For pro advice, we turned to one of our favorite sexperts, San-Francisco-based sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Her #1 Rule Of Threesomes: "You can never take a threesome back," Marin reminds us. "Once you've done it, it's done." That sounds ominous, but by imagining your mental state both during and after the sex, you can gauge whether you're ready for it. "Of course you can't know exactly what will happen after your potential threesome, but it's important to expect a mixed bag of reactions and be honest with yourself about whether you can handle all the possible outcomes," Marin adds.

What's more, in thinking through your possible reactions to three-person sex in detail, you'll figure out which boundaries to set before the experience (yes, a shared understanding of what is and isn't okay is 300% necessary). "Maybe the idea of seeing your partner have intercourse with someone else makes your stomach churn, but imagining them receiving oral sex turns you on," Marin explains. "That's a pretty good hint at what one of your boundaries could be!"

Finally, don't settle for a scenario that makes you feel anything less than comfortable. "Some couples will get so frustrated by how long the process can take that they feel tempted to lower their standards and jump on the next available opportunity," Marin tells us. "I can say from professional experience that this approach never works out well!" Follow the decision tree below to find out if you and your partner are cleared for the big three.
Illustrated By Elliot Salazar.
Advertisement