Gwyneth Paltrow Designed Rap-Themed Clutches, Made One Big Mistake

If you haven't figured out why the entire world is confused by Gwyneth Paltrow yet, let us show you the way. A crop of Edie Parker clutches just popped up on her longstanding lifestyle website goop, and our heads are tilting. So far, so good, right? The actress' collaboration with the clutch queen features odes to her favorite rappers in giant cursive letters. You've never seen Hov look quite so...swoopy. We don't doubt that Paltrow loves her some '90s hip-hop, but we're wondering what kind of true fan would have put Jay Z and Eminem on the same clutch, much less Biggie and Tupac. Said clutch, which retails at a very Goop-y $1,695, makes us wonder where she was during rap's most historical feud. Like, in between filming Mrs. Parker and The Vicious Circle and Jefferson In Paris, what were you actually listening to in 1994? All shade aside, we like Edie Parker bags, we like hip-hop, we like cursive, and we like Eminem, Jay Z, Tupac, and Biggie...but if we may use a metaphor that Paltrow will understand: Just because you like kale and buttercream frosting doesn't mean you should put them both in the same green juice.