Want all this in your inbox?
Get the Refinery29 Newsletter
You're in for a treat...
Thanks for signing up!
Please upgrade your browser for the best Refinery29 experience. Read more.
Movie: Along Came Polly
Date premise: Dinner at an Indian restaurant
What went wrong: Some of us (hello) can’t eat spicy food. Unfortunately, in an attempt to impress Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston), Reuben Feffer (Ben Stiller) fails to share that particular fact and indulges in an Indian meal that his IBS isn't ready for. The good news: we’ve all been there. The bad: Polly hasn’t, and doesn’t get the hint when Reuben starts sweating profusely and eventually has to use her facilities — which, of course, goes horribly awry. (Again, we’ve all been there.)
Movie: There’s Something About Mary
Date premise: Prom
What went wrong: If Ted (Ben Stiller) hadn't used the bathroom (always with the bathroom), he would’ve avoided a zipper-based accident and could’ve taken Mary (Cameron Diaz) to prom. Unfortunately, life is difficult, and instead of spending the night on the dance floor, he spends it in the E.R., where doctors eventually extract his penis from the fly of his pants. But not before Mary, her family, friends, and the firefighters draw attention to his personal (and I mean very personal) crisis.
Movie: Pulp Fiction
Date premise: Dancing, burgers, and the liberal use of a controlled substance
What went wrong: Granted, not much can go right when the guy (John Travolta) assigned to watch the boss’ wife (Uma Thurman) ends up watching her snort heroin to the point of nearly dying. And while the two enjoy dinner, dancing, and enough flirting to call their night out a date, all romance is lost when he has to stab her in the heart with adrenaline to make it start beating again.
Movie: Scream 2
Date premise: A night at the movies (with a serial killer)
What went wrong: Movies about murder are ideal date material, until an actual murderer uses the screams of an audience to mask his real-life killing spree. Such was the case in Scream 2 when Maureen Evans (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Phil Stevens (Omar Epps) are stabbed to death by the serial killer at a screening of Stab, a movie loosely based on the original Scream. Naturally, nobody notices until the murders are long since completed. (Which easily makes this the worst date, ever.)