Your Horoscope For This Week — May 24 2015

Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Who’s guarding the grill, patrolling the potato salad, and picking up the PBRs? Monday is Memorial Day, and hopefully your boss had the decency to give you the day off. This one announces itself with a quarter moon in efficiency-obsessed Virgo. Project-manage those picnics, and you can kick back without too many cares. Then again, you might just devote your free time to an obsessive cleanup mission.

On Wednesday, watch your words! Mouthy Mercury retrograde meets feisty Mars in Gemini, and the $%*t-talking could get OOC. Whether you say it to their face or behind their back, what you blurt, text, or tweet can (and probably will) be used against you. Filters please, people. And, boundaries too! This weekend, foggy Neptune gets into a tangled angle with the sun and Mercury, making it hard to read people’s motives. Keep those cards close to your vest. Creativity is catharsis, so instead of spilling your trade secrets, wander through a museum, call a band rehearsal, or work on that forthcoming novel.      
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Gemini
Feelings aren’t facts, Gemini — but they aren’t chopped liver either. Studies done by The HeartMath Institute show that the heart and brain are in constant communication. This week is all about tuning in to your ticker. How do you feel when you’re around certain people? Does your heart start racing, or do you feel a sense of calm? With aggravating Mars and Mercury retrograde flowing together through Gemini, take a detour away from relationships that throw you off-center. Constantly proving that you’re worthy is a waste of your time! Of course, scrambled signals might be the problem, too. Maybe you’ve been harping on a thought like, This person is mad at me. Get it out into the open. If the friendship is worth salvaging, a past-due heart-to-heart will help!

Over the weekend, keep your internal satellite tracking for career opportunities. Someone you’ve admired from afar for a while could be placed directly in your path. Carpe diem (or DM, if the connection is virtual)! Introduce yourself with that Gemini charm. You’ll have them at hello.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Cancer
Friendships should be a two-way street…right, Cancer? But, you’re such a giver that sometimes it’s hard for other people to keep up. Monday’s balancing quarter moon calls for equilibrium. If you’ve been overly generous, pull back a bit before resentment creeps in. Remember that people give in different ways, too. Set your peeps up to win by letting them know what YOU desire and need.

Wednesday’s question: Should you forgive them or forget them? Warrior Mars meets Mercury retrograde in your house of healing and transitions. You can only work so hard to make a situation fit for you. If this one has "codependent" written all over it, cut the contortionism and the cords. Life is not supposed to be that hard! But, maybe your crabshell defense mechanism went up a little too soon. Someone you judged in a snap could be worthy of a second review. Don’t rush to decide either way. You’ll learn a whole lot more about people this weekend, including their bad sides. But hey, everyone has a shadow. What might be a better thing to ask yourself is if you can deal with people’s “for better” and their “for worse.”
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Leo
Before you race off to play grill master this Monday, take time to balance your budget. The quarter moon in your fiscally savvy second house sounds the call for some belt-tightening. Chill with the #YOLO indulgences, and be more conscious about your purchases this week. Even if you aren’t burning as fast as you’re earning, what would it take to boost your income? Schedule an appointment with a higher-up to discuss your growth within the company. And, if you want to be your own boss (a Leo dream come true), investigate training in a monetizable skill.

Wednesday’s stars remind you that you’re judged by the company you keep. Is your crew a true reflection of your potential? Maybe you wrote some people off a little too quickly. Make the necessary adjustments. You don’t have to bail on the old-school team, but do build new branches of your social network. Over the weekend, one rotten apple can truly spoil the barrel. Don’t feel compelled to invite a Debbie Downer or Paulie Player to join in plans. Even if YOU can tolerate their, uh, social awkwardness, it doesn’t mean your friends can put up with it. Keep the vibes positive, and if you must see these troubled souls, make some one-on-one time NEXT week.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Virgo
Who do you think you are, Virgo? With Monday’s quarter moon in your sign, you could have a mini identity crisis. Embrace your own evolution! Clinging to the familiar is far more uncomfortable than taking a courageous step down a new path. Read Virgo blogger Gala Darling’s book Radical Self Love if you need a confidence boost: Your ambitions may take a detour on Wednesday, when agitator Mars meets Mercury retrograde in your 10th house of career. Have your backup plan ready! Instead of losing momentum, just think on your feet. Staying flexible is key. A colleague from your past could be your pinch hitter, helping you out of the jam.

Over the weekend, your goals remain on your mind. But, have you clued in the VIPs (roommates, BFFs, romantic partners) in your life? If you’re in a relationship, sit down and discuss the future. Some important adjustments may be necessary to keep your connection in balance. Looking for love? Don’t go gaga for a handsome face alone. Strike up a conversation about summer plans…then move on to life aspirations. Ambition is a turn-on for you, Virgo, and if your partner lacks it you’ll just wind up picking up the pieces and playing the rescuer. Exhausting!
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Libra
Grab the boogie board and beach umbrella! Memorial Day has “beach escape” written all over it as a quarter moon flows into your watery 12th house. Bring your Mini Jambox, too, because you could wind up hosting an impromptu dance party in the sand. If the weather (or the water) doesn’t cooperate, take a trip down Memory Lane. Organizing your photos into folders could get nostalgic, reminding you to reconnect with friends from back in the day. You’ll win #TBT this week, hands down.

On Wednesday, watch your words! Rash Mars meets Mercury retrograde, causing you to overdose on truth serum. Although you’re just trying to be helpful, you could come across as harsh and judge-y instead. Best bet: Lead by asking questions instead of firing off opinions. Over the weekend, only travel if you have a plan. If not, don’t move an inch. An unstructured journey could lead to a series of frustrating detours and short-circuited missions. Find out how far you REALLY have to travel, check traffic delays, and look at a map before you put the key in the ignition.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Scorpio
Your network is your net worth, or so the saying goes. With a quarter moon in your community zone on Monday, give your social circle a review. Trim the fat from your feeds, so you can keep tabs on the people who are truly on their game — without the distraction of the ranting tweeters or annoying green juice ‘grams. Memorial Day could serve up more than just unforgettable kebab. Find your way to a barbecue with an elite invite list. Keep your eagle-eyes locked on your targets, so you can strategically place yourself in the adjacent Adirondack chair.

Wednesday comes with a Code Emerald alert: Jealousy may flare midweek, as firecracker Mars syncs up with Mercury retrograde. Trust doesn’t come so easily to you, Scorpio — but your paranoia could take you to some scary places if you let it take hold. Deep breaths! If you’re REALLY that worried about what someone may do behind your back, maybe you shouldn’t be hanging out in the first place. The line between love and lust is paper-thin this weekend. Blame it on Neptune, master of illusions (and delusions). What you THINK is the guidance of your heart is likely to be coming from a little further down south.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Sagittarius
Well hello, #Girlboss. With a quarter moon in your ambitious 10th house this Monday, you’ll start off the week on a take-charge note. Devote a couple hours of Memorial Day to working on your high-level goals. Update your LinkedIn profile in preparation for a job search or polish up a presentation for later in the week. Socialize strategically, too. The right celebration can double as a networking event, after all.

Relationships heat up midweek, as lusty Mars joins Mercury retrograde on Wednesday. A connection you thought was so over could suddenly show signs of promise — if not the stirrings of passion. But, easy does it, Archer. Getting swept up in the moment could lead to drama if you’re dealing with someone deceptive. Coupled Archers could clash, but the air DOES need some clearing. The good news is, the makeup sex could be as heated as the argument itself. Over the weekend, remember that following the sister code doesn’t mean being codependent. Don’t skip an opportunity just to keep one of your girls company in the corner.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Capricorn
Thought you’d use Memorial Day to catch up on some work? Change of plans! With a harmonizing quarter moon in your travel sector, taking the day off is actually the best thing you can do for your productivity — especially if a change of scenery is involved. Bail on the barbecue scene, and hop in the car. A road trip to the beach or to go on a nature hike will restore your equilibrium. You might even try horseback riding.

Your hardscrabble work ethic returns with a vengeance, especially on Wednesday when motivator Mars syncs up with Mercury retrograde in your efficiency zone. This is the perfect day for revamping your systems, rearranging your office, and cleaning out your inbox. Take a breather and hit the gym, followed by a 20-minute chair massage. You’ll be motivated to take better care of your health. Don’t wait for that nagging ache to become an actual issue: Preventative medicine — like adequate rest, clean eating, and the aforementioned rubdowns — keep your bod in balance. Steer clear of stressful people this weekend. Empathetic Neptune’s placement makes a psychic sponge out of you. Not only will you absorb their moods, but you could get sucked into playing the happy helper, zapping the time you need to recharge your own batteries. Remember this: “No.”
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Aquarius
Beaches officially open Monday, Aquarius! And, with a quarter moon in your esoteric eighth house, retreating to the water (even a quiet pool) will get the week off to a memorable start. You might opt for some alone time or use the day to build a closer one-on-one connection with someone you adore. Is it time to bring sexy back? This lunar cycle gets your engines purring. And, if it doesn’t, there’s always Wednesday! A scorching connection between lusty Mars and messenger Mercury — in your romance zone, no less — gets you in the mood for love. Take the lead, and make your intentions obvious. With your mellow M.O., you could wind up unfairly shuffled to the friend zone.

With Mercury retrograde, an ex could be on your mind. Were you too quick to cut someone off? Mend fences, and you could be back in bed together in no time. Enjoy the moment, but hold off on the happily-ever-after fantasies. Over the weekend, you could discover some irreconcilable differences, like a clash in values, life goals, or totally incompatible spending styles. Attached Aquarius could butt heads over money, too. If one of you splurges while the other sacrifices, something has got to give!
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Pisces
Where is the love, Pisces? With Monday’s quarter moon in your relationship zone, you’ll be acutely aware of the drift between you and a certain someone. It’s not too late to build a bridge over these troubled waters. Take command of your romance game instead of waiting for the white steed to gallop your way. If your sensibilities are more Downton than downtown, lay a tempting breadcrumb trail to let the object of your affections know that you are interested.

All is NOT quiet on the Pisces homefront: On Wednesday, firebrand Mars meets Mercury retrograde in your domestic zone, stirring up some family feuds. You could have tense words with a relative or need to regulate a roommate who has overtaken your home’s communal zones. Just getting a little patch of peace could prove difficult. Grab your yoga mat if you can’t find it under your roof! The weekend will also stir up a complex cocktail of feelings, as your ruler Neptune gets into a tangled angle with the sun and Mercury. You’ll be sensitive to people’s judgments — but don’t let their critiques be your compass! If you disagree with friends’ assertions, speak up instead of swallowing it. Truth be told, a couple people in your entourage might just need their egos checked.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Aries
Ah, the joys of a color-coded closet and beautifully shelf-scaped book display. You’ll fixate on such things, thanks to Monday’s quarter moon in neat-freak Virgo. Just thinking about the time you’ll save by lifehacking is enough to make you skip the BBQ and stay home to clean. Strike a compromise with yourself: Spend half the day sorting, and then pick up a healthy dish and go join the Memo Day fun.

Have you been keeping too many thoughts to yourself? Warning: They could spill out in a jumbled rush on Wednesday, when agitator Mars syncs up with Mercury retrograde. Vent wisely — and don’t put any of those uncensored rants into writing. You don’t need evidence of this tirade coming back to haunt you. A sibling, close friend, or neighbor could work your nerves, but you don’t want to burn bridges by bashing. On the plus side, this cosmic combo helps you crack a tough nut and FINALLY get a friendship underway. Brain fog ensues this weekend, so avoid making any concrete decisions. Allow yourself to see all sides of the situation, and know that your feelings could change on a dime. Putting yourself in a compromising situation could bring big regrets, especially if a charming double-talker is involved.
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Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Taurus
“The parts I enjoy playing aren't really available to me,” Taurus Lena Dunham once said. “So, I have to write them.” Monday’s quarter moon in your self-expression sector reminds you that you’re the author of your own life. Whether you fit the prescribed mold or totally shatter it, make Monday extra memorable: Wear, say, and do something that truly represents the “you” that you’ve been afraid to reveal.

Hang on to your wallet! Stressful Mars pairs with Mercury retrograde in your finance zone, making you prone to impulse-shopping. You could butt heads over the bills. Make sure all is fair and square with your roomies. But, Mars CAN be motivating. This cosmic configuration lends the courage to ask for better conditions at your 9-to-5. Since Mercury is retrograde, timing is everything. Set an actual appointment instead of requesting a raise when you bump into your boss in the elevator. Have you outgrown your social network — or, at least, a branch of it? This weekend, your values and interests might not mesh with your go-to crew. Instead of forcing togetherness out of habit, go check out new scenes. It can be scary to fly solo, but if you find a group that resonates, stick with it. Showing up a few times will make YOU a familiar face to them, too.
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