What Happens When You Actually Read Thug Kitchen

Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook, out today, collects recipes from the eponymous Thug Kitchen site. Created by duo Michelle Davis and Matt Holloway, the vegan cookbook offers readers 100 healthy recipes, all in the extreme, "fuck"-laden voice we've come to expect from the Thug brand. In the world of Thug Kitchen, we're advised to "stop fucking with that deep-fried ramen." We're told to grab a beer, but we shouldn't "get sloppy 'til [we're] done cooking." It's like someone took Vice Magazine, shoved it through a terrible marketing rubric, and then added "lemony red-lentil soup" to the mix. It's the definition of trying too hard.
Much has been written this week about the authors' race (they are white). Vice is quick to point out the troubling implications of these white authors' use of the word "thug" and the general — presumably affected — vernacular in which they write.
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But, does the duo behind the elegant aphorism "Eat like you give a f*ck" actually deliver on their culinary promise? Do they actually provide "simple, tasty-as-fuck recipes for the fast-growing community of healthy eaters out there"? To investigate, I employed the extremely scientific method of counting Thug Kitchen's liberal use of very cool curse words and phrases and comparing them to the book's use of typical cookbook language. You know, weak-ass words like "chop," "carrot," or "preheat." What I found is rather illuminating.
Number Of Occurrences In Thug Kitchen
Fuck: 122
Preheat: 1
Kale salad: 0
Soup: 76
Fucking: 50
Spaghetti: 6
Chia seeds: 3
Motherfucker: 31
Taco: 39
Souffle: 0
Dice: 22
Bitch: 12
Bitching: 1
Stir: 125
Chop: 42
Julienne: 0
Blend: 30
Whisk: 23
Ass: 65
Marinate: 3
Veggies: 33
Big ass: 21
Carrot: 68
Shit: 324
Blueberries: 8
Nutmeg: 1
Salt to taste: 2
Shitty: 7
Boil: 19
Thug: 233
Racist: 0
There you have it. If you're on the lookout for a cookbook that (disgustingly) uses the word "shit" literally 321 times more often than the word "marinate," it seems you've met your match. Thug Kitchen is available wherever books are sold.
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