Watch The Fascinating Demo For This "Stab-Proof" Shirt

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There was a time when no nobleman worth his serfs would be without a full suit of armor. But, in 2014, chain mail and steel gauntlets aren't exactly the "in" thing. What's a modern guy or gal to do to protect ourselves against a world of projectiles?

Enter Miguelo Romano, a Brooklyn-based brand that designs "armored clothing." Miguelo Romano's e-shop offers two separate categories of protective gear: There's the disturbing-sounding "anti-ballistic" collection, and the, well, equally disturbing-sounding "cut-resistant" clothing. The brand incorporates state-of-the-art fabrics into normal-looking hoodies and polos, and shoppers can choose their "Protection Level" as easily as they choose their color and size. One hoodie emblazoned with the word "Brooklyn," is available for $129 for a basic, non-protective model, $399 for a blade-resistant style, and a whopping $1,099 for the anti-ballistic model.

Of course, it may be more accurate to state that these shirts are "slash" rather than stab-resistant. As a Miguelo Romano rep clarifies in the YouTube comments: "Our fabric offers a very basic level of stab resistance subject to the width and thickness of a blade. The thicker and wider the blade the more stab resistance is offered." Good to know.

Watch the fascinating and somewhat unsettling demo video below, in which cofounder Michael Puscar basically goes all Michael Myers on a hoodie. May all who wear them do so in good health.