Here Is Ryan Reynolds' Application To Be Preserve's Editorial Director

blake-ryanPhoto: Getty Images.
Ryan Reynolds
123 Rustic Barn Lane
Upstate, NY 10506
Advertisement
August 11, 2014
Dear Ms. Lively:
I recently came across the posting for the editorial director position of your new start-up, Preserve. I can think of no role for which I am better qualified. Well, some might argue that my résumé, which I've attached to this email on the back of my headshot, would reveal me to be better suited for a different type of role. Because I'm an actor (get it?). That facility with wordplay is just one skill I would bring to the job.
In the listing description, you say that "experience with lifestyle editorial is a must." While I haven't worked at a website in real life, I did once play the assistant to the chief editor at a publishing house in The Proposal. You'll also recall that my character hailed from a picturesque town in Alaska only accessible by seaplane, so I clearly know a thing or two about curating an aspirational existence.
You also mention in the posting that "our stories are often tongue-in-cheek" and that you need someone who can keep that "let's not take ourselves too seriously" essence going. If you look at my IMDb page, you'll see that I'm no stranger to comedy. I'm Van Wilder, for fuck's sake. (I'm not afraid to work blue if the role requires.)
Advertisement
I'd also like to point out that you yourself have commented repeatedly how integral I already am to the site. "He's incredibly involved," you told E! News. "He's influenced my taste so much on things like home design." If hired, I plan to bring that exact influential taste-making to the position of editorial director.
I'd love to meet to discuss the opportunity further. You can reach me at sorryaboutthegreenlantern@gmail.com, or you can simply roll over in bed. I'm the guy sleeping next to you. That's the kind of 24/7 dedication I'm ready to bring to Preserve.
Sincerely,
Ryan Reynolds
P.S. Can you pick up a dozen eggs from the coop on your way home from bonsai-pruning class? Thanks and love you.
Advertisement
P.P.S. Remember how I coined "The Blakery"?
Advertisement

More from News

Now that James Lively is a big sib, we wanted to take a moment to celebrate the paragons of parenthood that are Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds
It has been but three years since Justin Theroux's bulge went for a jog in a pair of sweatpants, but it feels as if it happened only yesterday
Today, TMZ reported that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have come to a temporary divorce settlement that grants full custody of the six children to Jolie
You could spend all day critiquing the media for the lack of compelling content created by and starring women. But why not put the kind of female-centric...
In September 1993, Connecticut State Attorney Frank Maco declared that he would not prosecute Woody Allen in court for the charges of sexual abuse of a ...
Wisin, an award-winning reggaeton musician, has shared the news of his baby daughter's death in an Instagram post. "Thank you, my God, for one month of ...
Looks like James Lively is officially a big sister. People confirms that Blake Lively has given birth to her second child with husband Ryan Reynolds. ...
She won't say who didn't encourage her acting career — but we're pretty sure it's Ashton Kutcher
Take this as a warning to lend things to Tyga at your own risk. The rapper has been having some major financial problems lately. The latest: He's in ...
Verizon says the number will be retired for a full year instead of the usual 50 days
Nate Parker's 60 Minutes interview airs on Sunday, and the Birth of a Nation filmmaker said he doesn't feel guilty about the rape allegation that has ...
A man who once crawled under America Ferrera's skirt is now claiming that he's fighting for female body diversity. Really
Frances Bean Cobain has been ordered to dish out a pretty daunting sum of cash to estranged husband Isaiah Silva over the next four months. The 24-year-...
Update: E! News reports that Kim Kardashian has filed a complaint with French authorities against Vitalii Sediuk. The celebrity "prankster" tried to ...