Finally — A Male Sex Toy That Gives A Performance Review

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Our constant need for improvement and quantification (in no small way inspired by FitBit) has spilled over into the bedroom. Yep, since there's already a combination vibrator/Kegel tracker, it only makes sense that penis rings have finally caught up. We have Bondara, a British adult retailer, to thank for the SexFit, which proves itself to be much more than a male sex toy. Equipped with Bluetooth and Wi-Fi capabilities, smartphone compatibility, and LED lights, the SexFit fits snugly at the base of the penis as it tracks thrusts per minute and calories burned.

For those of you who stopped reading after "LED lights," don't worry — this prototype penis ring isn't meant to double as a Christmas ornament. The LED lights that go across the top of the ring actually serve as speed indicators, to let users know when they have reached a steady thrusting rhythm. That's right — with the SexFit, there is never any sacrifice for function over form.

Even as far as prototypes go, it's still in the earliest stages of development, which may be a disappointment to some. Then again, it might be best that we still have plenty of time to brace ourselves for the arrival of the SexFit. We'll undoubtedly need some time to adjust when our male Facebook friends start updating their thrusts-per-minute record, via SexFit's iPhone app.