Exclusive: Beyoncé Finally "Responds" To All The Rumors

Photo: Courtesy of VEVO.
Sigh. Another day that ends in "y," another Beyoncé rumor. At this point, we arrive at work every morning primed and ready to discuss the gossip item du jour. Does no one fear the Beygency? If Bey and Jay really are members of the Illuminati who secretly control the President, you'd think the tabloids would hold off on reporting unsubstantiated facts.
By now, the list of purported things Beyoncé is and is not doing is out of control. We had our resident court stenographer* note all of the rumors — from the mundane to the insane — and reached out to the Queen for her reaction. Here's her "response."
*We do not have a resident court stenographer, but what if we did?