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How To Use The Internet To Be More Honest With Your Partner

Via The Skin Deep
Conversation starters — they're something you might come across at a holiday party or an office get-together, right? They're usually open-ended, playful questions on craftily presented index cards. You use them to get to know people you might not be familiar with — and, well, to start conversations. But, as a new interactive documentary project shows, these questions change dramatically when the person you're "getting to know" is your significant other. Ice-breakers such as "What was your first concert?" are replaced by the likes of "What is your greatest romantic regret?"
The And, an interactive documentary from Topaz Adizes, The Skin Deep, and Noise, is designed to facilitate an open and meaningful dialogue between partners. Using 30 couples, the filmmakers compiled their footage to show how people handle some of the most important — and therefore most difficult — questions. (Participants are also required to maintain full eye contact.) Whether the topic is infidelity or each partner's most mind-blowing sexual encounter, the questions elicit sheepish smiles, deep breaths, and awkward "um"s. With some of the couples, you can tell that this endeavor was a good idea. On the other hand, there are a few whose chats make you wonder what they talked about on the way home.
While the clips are fascinating, eye-opening, and often cringe-inducing, this project is not just a documentary; the site also includes questions and instructions to guide you and your partner through your own discussion. Similar to sites like Mojo Upgrade, The And functions like a mediator for couples who might otherwise tiptoe around serious or embarrassing topics. It makes sense, given the relative comfort and safety of Internet anonymity; wouldn't it be easier to tell your partner that you're faking orgasms if you had a social barrier, like a username, to hide behind? The And requires a lot more confrontation than that, but it also provides a framework (the questions and the project itself) to lean on — and to blame if things get uncomfortable.
Whether or not you need the Internet to help you sit down and talk, honest conversations are always worth having. Click through for more videos of the 30 couples tackling tough questions. Then, grab your partner and try it for yourself.