Yesterday, I came dangerously close to headbutting my computer screen when I watched this. I thought it was the most cringe-worthy thing I'd see all week, until my still-blazing eyeballs were greeted with the music video for "Brooklyn Girls," a disturbingly catchy song by Catey Shaw (a person whose Twitter bio reads "#justlivinthedream" and who has been described as having "a little more edge than #katyperry").
I know everyone is going to call me a jerk and a pretentious snob. I accept that. But, I just have to say: This song is not my anthem. Nor does it apply to the majority of girls (women, dare I say?) who live in Brooklyn.
I don't really spend that much time on the LES, I don't have ombre purple hair (although, admittedly, I wish I did), and most of all, I don't live in Williamsburg.
How, you ask, is it possible to live in Brooklyn and not live in Williamsburg? Why, it's simple! You simply follow these easy DIY steps — click through to page two to learn more!
How To Not Live In Williamsburg:
2. Live in any of the zillions of other neighborhoods in Kings County.
Congrats! Catey Shaw's music video no longer applies to your life.
Honestly, I could go on about the copycat-of-a-copycat vocals, awkward poseurs-only dance moves, and Insta-filtered lighting, but I will conclude my rant at this time. Instead, I will now watch this video seven or eight times to clear my head.