We may or may not have drank too much one night and performed dramatic readings of Amazon reviews (you'd think it'd be the bad ones, but it's the breathless love letters to high-speed blenders that are gold), so we understand the allure of reciting Beyoncé lyrics this way, too. They're opinionated and rhythmic and inspiring — everything needed for a good ol' hyperbolic rendering. But, we were not prepared for the heights to which Nina Millin took Bey's prose in The Beyoncélogues.
The actress and writer got the idea when she tried to belt out Beyoncé songs at karaoke and just couldn't do it. The lyrics were too dramatic, too good, too Queen Bey. So, she tapped into her theater background and channeled the big, bad Bard himself. The result is a sight and sound to behold, Shakespeare soliloquy style.
"You must not know about me," interrogates Millin. "YOU. MUST. NOT. KNOW. ABOUT. ME?" And, really, at this point we're just scared. Where are we, that horrible Chicago prison in Orange Is the New Black? We do know. We know about you. All of you: Nina, Beyoncé, Willy Shakes. Please don't hurt us. (Jezebel)