Finally, Missed Connections For A**holes
Photographed by Jessica Nash.
You're in line at Duane Reade, waiting to buy a bag of chips. Someone cuts in front of you to purchase a crossword puzzle book. "Excuse me," you say politely. "I'm actually in line." The stranger says, "Whatever," and continues to violate the ethics of line-waiting policy. So, you decide to drop it. Later on, you're at home, eating your chips, and you think of the perfect
comeback. You silently reprimand yourself for having missed this ideal opportunity to stick it to that jerk — and, symbolically, to line-cutters everywhere. What's an indignant New Yorker to do? Welcome to "Missed Connections For A-Holes." Ethan Kuperberg's Shouts & Murmurs column
in The New Yorker
may be fictional, but it's rooted in two very real truths. First: Minute social injustices occur on an hourly basis. Second: New Yorkers rely too heavily on Craigslist
. Consider this the official petition to transform Kuperberg's short essay into a full-on, regularly updated blog. Because we all know those armrest-hoggers, parking-space stealers, slow-orderers, dog-ignorers, and L-train-backpack-wearers — and they must be stopped. Preferably in a passive-aggressive way. (The New Yorker