Is Texting Ruining Everything?

Illustrated by Ly Ngo.
Recently, this author received a phone call from his Internet provider asking whether or not he wanted to add a phone line to his account. Considering the phone call was received on a cell phone, the answer was a staunch and quick "uh, no." First of all: Why call when an e-mail would've sufficed? Secondly, the whole ordeal set off a deep, internal realization that the Texting Age is real and causing some actual stress.
Now that we're fully aware of our ability to hide behind emotionless, glowing words, our yearning to somehow convey emotion has skyrocketed. The emphasis has shifted away from tonal inflection to grammatical nuances and emoticons. Since we've removed the audible voice from conversation, our need to know whether our digital voice was delivered, heard, and seen is now paramount to our sense of well-being. (Don't deny it, the "seen" notification on messaging these days is the bane of your existence.)
The Texting Age has created new anxieties and ticks that have yet to be named — until now. We're not Oxford Dictionary board members here, but we can't continue to communicate digitally without knowing what we're feeling at all times. So, without further ado, the 10 new anxieties texting brought upon us.