The Weird World Of Celebrity Barbies

Jennifer Lopez was forever immortalized this week when she became the latest to join an illustrious line of celebrities to have a Mattel doll created in his or her likeness. Some Internet haters have been quick to point out that J.Lo’s Barbie lacks a few of her signature, ahem, assets, but we’re more upset that neither one of her two iterations ("World Tour" or "Red Carpet") is wearing the infamous Versace dress from the 2000 Grammys.
Though, our disappointment was short-lived, because Jennifer Lopez’s new plastic-and-rubber likeness sent us down the deep, dark rabbit hole and into the world of celebrity Barbies. So, please take a step through the looking glass and reminisce on the decidedly motley crew of dolls inspired by famous folks.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Charlie’s Angels Kelly Gift Set

Why are they child dolls? Seriously, why?!
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Diana Ross

Bob Mackie gown. Hair for days. Disco and doll legend.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Heidi Klum

This is part of the “Blonde Ambition Collection,” because regular ol’ non-celebrity Barbie didn’t already teach girls that their greatest ambition in life should be blonde hair and legs for days.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.

Cher is immortalized in multiple Barbie dolls, but the ‘70s Bob Mackie one is by far the most ostentatious and elaborate. The product notes also include that it’s “Not for use with other Barbie dolls,” which we assume is to avoid the risk of upstaging them.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Green Lantern Carol Ferris

That’s right, Blake Lively’s boring character in the most boring superhero movie to date got her very own Barbie. Yet, we find ourselves in the year 2013 without a Serena van der Woodsen & Lonely Boy set to play with.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
The Mad Men Collection

You can now put your child’s favorite philandering anti-hero in various positions, courtesy of Mattel.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Katy Perry

Baby, you’re a one-off doll created to be auctioned off for charity.*

*Sung to the tune of “Firework”
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Barbra Streisand

Don’t rain on her parade.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
The Twilight Saga

Salute your jorts, Jacob!
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
TIm McGraw & Faith Hill

The first couple of country music is, of course, paid tribute with doppelganger dolls. Can Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s Barbies be far behind?
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Reba McEntire

Surely you didn’t think Faith Hill would have a doll, but Reba? Good one, you.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Captain Jack Sparrow

We would have loved to own this Barbie (or is it Ken?) as kids. Just ogle those accessories and his perfect eyeliner! The only downside is how difficult it would be to brush his dreadlocked hair.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
The X-Files

Scully and Mulder do, in fact, have their own Barbie dolls. The truth is finally out there.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
William and Catherine Royal Wedding Gift Set

William’s face and hair — an absolute nightmare to immortalize.
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
Elizabeth Taylor

So many perfect accessories (can you see a pattern forming?). The five-year-old in us would head straight for this doll at Toys "R" Us — forget those Magic Nursery Babies and their cheap “discover the gender by putting a weird package in water” ploy.