Are You There God? It’s Us — 5 Judy Blume Books We Wish Were Movies

While our preteen years were filled with wonderful events, they couldn’t quite make up for all the scary ones. First kisses, secret clubs, and boy-band concerts were often overshadowed by puberty, bullies, and FOMO. At the time, it seemed like one of the only people who understood that was author Judy Blume. Somewhere in between after-school play dates and choosing a college, we were supposed to figure out how to, well, grow up. And it's safe to say that without her guidance, we probably would be a lot more messed up.
The only thing that may have made those earlier years easier would have been seeing Blume’s relatable characters deal with prepubescence on the big screen. Luckily for the next generation, they can. This July, the first film based on a book written by the fairy godmother of adolescence, Tiger Eyes, will hit theaters nationwide. It might be a little late for us, but for the preteens of the future, Hollywood is doing them a solid. Plus, a dose of Blume is much cheaper than therapy.
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Here are five Judy Blume books we’d like to see turned into movies in order to help us finally understand why adolescence was so brutal.
1 of 5
Blubber
If kids (and adults) saw Judy Blume’s simple and realistic dissection of bullying on the big screen, it might become a thing of the past. Think Mean Girls, six years younger but with somehow more vicious predators. And more vulnerable prey. Regina George is an angel compared to the ringleader in this book, Wendy, who at 9 years old makes her victims “wish they were never born.”

We were too busy hiding in the bathroom stalls from girls like Wendy to realize that we had neighbors. Which is why after reading Blubber for the first time, we clung to it so tightly. The story of plain and chubby Linda provided comfort and proof that we weren't the only targets of torment.

We banked on the whole “when we get older, it will be easier” thing. If Blume had heard that, she would have laughed right in our naive freckled faces. Even now, we still sometimes hide out in the bathroom at work. It would certainly help to have our iPad in there watching Blume’s Jill turn the bullies against each other while realizing what a true friend is. It never hurts to be reminded that we are still not alone, and of course, that karma is a you-know-what.

Blubber, $7, available at Amazon.
2 of 5
Starring Sally J. Freedman As Herself
Judy Blume was a bottomless pit of preteen advice. Where did it all come from? Any glimpse into what she went through as an adolescent is fascinating to us. This book was loosely based on her own childhood, which is why it’s one of our favorites. It seems like Blume's career revolved around helping us, and just like the main character in this book, we loved the attention. But let's now turn the spotlight on Blume and watch as semi-autobiographical Sally deals with adapting to a new home, her wild imagination, racism, religion, and her dreams of becoming a star.

Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself, $7, available at Random House.
3 of 5
Deenie
We all went to school with someone like Deenie — perfect and destined to be a model. She was the girl whose mother forced her to go to castings while we enviously paged through magazines and posed in front of our mirrors. A movie based on Deenie would finally give us that glimpse into the glamour we weren’t able to experience.

We hated Deenie, until she was diagnosed with scoliosis and had to start wearing a back brace. Then she became a character we could sympathize with. Seeing Deenie on the big screen would be a pleasant reassurance that while most of us didn’t turn out to be famous supermodels (“Deenies” included), it was probably for the best.

Deenie, $17, available at Amazon.
4 of 5
Wifey
Before Fifty Shades of Grey, there was Wifey. Remember, that book you saw on your mom’s bookshelf, but were forbidden to pick up yourself? “But I’ve read plenty of Judy Blume books!” your 13-year-old self argued. This was "not your typical Judy Blume book," your mother countered; it was a special book for adults only. To a child or teenager, “off limits” basically means “must-have.” And, when you finally snuck it off your parents’ bookshelf and got a chance to read it, you were…shocked to say the least. Years later, the story of a homely housewife turned wild seductress is actually relatable, and much more intriguing than back then. Now, the only thing that could top it would be a live-action version. If our wishes are granted and it makes it to DVD, we’ll be sure to hide it from our kids.

Wifey, $14, available at Amazon.
5 of 5
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret
If you picked up Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret today without looking at the cover, you might mistake it for your own middle-school diary. While we no longer believe that praying to God will make our breasts grow or help get a boy to like us back, our problems are still pretty similar.

Think about it. How much has changed? We still stress over picking the right guy to like, we freak out when our period doesn’t start on time, and we are constantly looking for ways to look hotter. The main difference is, back then, those were our only problems. Which is why we constantly dig up our old diaries (or old Blume books) to travel back to the simpler times of school dances and stuffed bras.

Are you there God? It’s us. Don’t you think we are ready to relive our preteen years? Oh, and 3D would be ideal. Thanks!

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, $8, available at Amazon.
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