Alyssa Milano's "Teen Steam" Workout Video Is '80s Gold

comments

Forget Pilates. Forget Prancercising. If you're looking for the hippest new workout, look no further than this '80s workout VHS, starring a 15-year-old Alyssa Milano. You may know Milano from her days on Charmed (or, let's be real, from 4 a.m. Who's The Boss reruns). But it was back in her teenage heydey that Milano had her greatest role of all: teenage workout instructor.

But "Teen Steam" is so much more than the weird, ineffective exercises performed by a 15-year-old girl. It is a complex narrative film about the pressures of teen-dom. Taking place over the course of a sleepover/workout party, the movie includes bizarrely staged music videos (starring Milano!), boy problems (that she is having!), and choreography that looks like...well, something a 15-year-old girl would do in her bedroom. The movie's lesson is that being a teenager is frustrating, and the best way to work out all that "teen steam" is to stretch your arms in the air at a 30-degree angle, for about a half an hour — preferably, while wearing chunky sneakers and a giant belt.

This video is just part one of three, and the whole thing is worth a watch. It's hard to do justice to Milano's triple-threat performance of actress, singer, child-workout-guru. Just watch and learn and try not to laugh. Oh whatever, laugh it up.




Photo: via Alyssa Milano Facebook