Five Things We Didn't Care About This Week...In Haiku Form!

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john-hammOur mothers taught us that if we didn't have anything nice to say, we shouldn't say anything at all. That, or write a poem about it. So, here are five stories we didn't feel like covering this week — which instead inspired us to write some haikus.

Makes sense, right? A little bit of the ol' 5-7-5 is a great substitute for news coverage (especially of the celeb variety). Enjoy, and leave your own topical compositions in the comments below.

Poor Katy Perry,
When the cats beau's away, single
strings will start to play.

Joe Jonas, caught on tape?
Whips, and chains, and things un-pure?
Somewhere, Taylor smiles.

Some men are truly
bless'd be the one who told John
Hamm to hide his junk.

Baby North West or
New Kardashian self-
Tan, which matters less?

Franco's flick will own
The box office. This one though,
Broke our brains in half.