17 Dirty Jokes We TOTALLY Missed In Beloved Films From Our Youth

Illustrated by Madelyn Somers.
As the urban legends go, Disney movies are riddled with subliminal reference to sex. It’s supposedly written in the stars in The Lion King. In Aladdin, Genie tells Rajah to “take off and go,” but he’s really saying, “Good teenagers take off their clothes.” And, let us not forget the minister’s erection during the wedding in The Little Mermaid.
But, no matter how much speculation runs rampant, we'll probably never know if the Mouse House actually does have a hidden agenda for indoctrinating viewers about such prurient matters.
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The jokes we’re about to discuss, on the other hand, leave much less to the imagination. Either they’re gems for adults hidden in kids’ movies, or they’re references in adult movies that flew over our heads when we watched them in our youth. Now that we've caught them, though, we’ll never be able to look at these films the same way again. Nor will calling the top bunk bed ever be free of sexual innuendo. Thanks a lot, Big.
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Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Clueless (1995)

Amber: "Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose."

Dionne: "Well, there goes your social life."
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Photo: Courtesy of Dreamworks.
Shrek (2001)

[Pans up on huge castle.]

“Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?”
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Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.
The Santa Clause (1996)

Charlie: "You’re flying!"

Santa Claus: "It’s okay, I lived through the ‘60s."
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Photo: Courtesy of 20th Century Fox.
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)

“Let me tell you about the time I used a sharpened clam shell to turn a T-Rex into a T-Rachel.”
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Photo: Courtesy of 20th Century Fox.
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Mrs. Doubtfire: "Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?"

Stu: "Mrs. Doubtfire, please."

Mrs. Doubtfire: "Oh, dear, now I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth...I hope you bring cocktail sauce. She's got the crabs, dear, and I don't mean Dungeness."
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
Hercules (1997)

"And then that, that play, that, that, that Oedipus thing. Man, I thought I had problems."
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Photo: Courtesy of Columbia Pictures.
Monster House (2006)

Jenny: "Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula!"

Chowder: "Oh, so it's a girl house."
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Photo: Courtesy of Pixar.
Toy Story 2 (1999)

Fans refer to this as the “double-wing boner.”
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The Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue (1999)

“Wow! Wittgenstein is searching through all my files; searching through regions heretofore only dreamed of by man. Whew...that feels sorta good. My memory banks are being stroked, and by an expert. I feel something inside of me, and I can’t keep it to myself any longer!”
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Photo: Courtesy of Gracie Films.
Big (1988)

Susan: "I’m not sure if we should do this yet. I mean, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you."

Josh: "Do you mean sleep over?"

Susan: "Well, yeah."

Josh: "Okay...but I get to be on top!"
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Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.
Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

“Why does the ocean roar? Give up? You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.”
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
Ratatouille (2007)

Skinner: "What are you doing in here?"

Linguini: "I'm just familiarizing myself with, you know, the vegetables and such."

Skinner: "Get out! One can get too familiar with vegetables, you know!"
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)

[During a wedding stampede.]

"I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon."
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Photo: Courtesy of David L. Wolper Productions.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

“The snozberries taste like snozberries!”

Apparently, a snozberry is another word for the head of a penis.
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
The Emperor's New Groove (2000)

"I bet you weren't expecting this."
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Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.
Hocus Pocus (1993)

Winifred: We desire children.

Bus driver: "Hey, that may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think that'd be a problem."
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Photo: Courtesy of Nickelodeon.
The Rugrats Movie (1998)

Baby #1: Man, they cut my cord.

Baby #2: [Peeking in diaper] Aw, consider yourself lucky.
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