Want all this in your inbox?
Get the Refinery29 Newsletter
You're in for a treat...
Thanks for signing up!
Please upgrade your browser for the best Refinery29 experience. Read more.
Up Your Salary
If your annual cost-of-living increase just didn’t cut it, start by chatting with mentors and colleagues to find out how they’ve successfully negotiated salary increases. Then, make sure your achievements are in line with your manager’s and company’s top priorities. "Hard work doesn’t necessarily merit a raise — results do," says Lindsey Pollak, author of Becoming the Boss: New Rules for the Next Generation of Leaders. After you've identified your accomplishments, quantify them in relevant, easy-to-understand metrics. How much money did you save the company? How much revenue did you help bring in?
"Once you're well-armed, practice negotiating with a mentor or friend, and be clear about exactly what you are asking for," Pollak says. "Then, set up a meeting with your boss during which you lay out why you deserve a raise and make your ask. After that, stop talking. People start to negotiate against themselves before allowing their boss a chance to talk. Stay calm, and be prepared with more data if she pushes back."
Take It One Step At A Time
The biggest reason resolutions go by the wayside? "People set very big goals (Get a promotion! Write a book! Join a nonprofit board!) but fail to realize they’re actually composed of many smaller steps," says Pollak. "Achieving them is much more likely when you break things down." So, vow to ask a colleague how she worked her way into a higher position, write the first page of the novel, or research causes that resonate with you. Then, schedule time into your calendar to actually accomplish those tasks.
A few of Pollak’s tried-and-true strategies for staying the course: Celebrate your progress (we suggest a girls' night). Find a friend, coworker, mentor, or coach to check in with on the regular. And, take a few minutes to stop and think about how great it will feel when you reach your goal.
Set Up A Support System
No matter what you're trying to change, it's crucial to tap an accountability partner who knows what you're going through. That's why Weight Watchers certified coach Catherine Gunia is a fan of the company's 24/7 expert chat feature, an app-based support service.
"Let's say you're going out for pizza with your significant other, and you plan to order one slice and a salad. My husband never struggled with [making healthy choices], so he's not the best person to rely on. A coach's [support] can help ensure you listen to your mind and body. To have that anchor on your phone all the time is huge."
Keep Alternatives In Mind
If there is a kink in getting something done, you'll thank yourself for having a plan B. Say you've resolved to walk around your neighborhood for 15 minutes a day, but it’s essentially monsooning. What's the alternative? "All-or-nothing thinkers will say, 'I couldn't go on my walk, so I’m just going to wait until next year to try this routine,'" explains Gunia. Instead, give yourself the option of doing a yoga DVD, jogging on the treadmill, or walking for 30 minutes the next day — and enlist a friend to make it more fun.
Get In Touch With You
People tend to sabotage relationships out of fear, at least that's what sex therapist and relationship counselor Vanessa Marin has found. "They're afraid — on a deep and usually unconscious level — of truly being vulnerable." For those who are single and looking, it's vital to explore that before starting a new relationship.
"Try to identify your own saboteur," says Marin. "When does she surface? What does she try to make you do? When you notice yourself acting out, ask, 'Is this really me taking action or is it that scared little part of myself trying to take control?'" Being able to recognize the difference will make conflicts infinitely healthier and more productive.