I've gone to great lengths in order to purchase a doughnut: I've overpaid for a Postmates delivery of a dozen and even waited in hour-long lines just to savor a single circle of glazed dough. But just how far would I go for a free doughnut...
It just so happens that Krispy Kreme's annual giveaway is today, September 19, meaning free doughy delicacies for the masses! But there's just one catch — you have to talk like a pirate in order to get one, because today is also national Talk Like a Pirate Day. Gonna let that sink in for a moment. If the thought of posing as a swashbuckler in public for a pastry doesn't make you slightly queasy, then read on.
Krispy states that any pirate jargon (e.g. ahoy mateys, aye aye captains, etc.) will guarantee you one free original glazed doughnut. If you put on some pirate garb (it actually stipulates three pirate items) you'll be rewarded with a whole dozen. For those who don't happen to have costumes on hand there's a brand new Krispy Kreme Snapchat filter to "digitally dress like a pirate" that'll also do the free dozen trick.
I've decided to stick to purchasing the limited edition Pirate Doughnut in my normal voice, because to each her own.