Someone Turned The Best Part Of OITNB Season 3 Into A Reality

If you've already plowed through season 3 of Orange Is the New Black, you know what we mean when we say Time Hump Chronicles. Suzanne's erotic fiction series takes the prison by storm as she becomes the George R.R. Martin/ E.L. James of Litchfield. She has fans and book clubs. Other inmates pester her for details about the fates of Rodcocker, Gilly, and Edwina during her informal press tour (a.k.a. lunch). I desperately wanted to read Time Hump Chronicles because let's be honest: It sounds amazing. Erotica in space? Sign me up. Well, Vulture heard our prayers and has made our dreams come true. The site commissioned historical romance writer Alyssa Cole to have a go at a chapter from Time Hump Chronicles. The full piece, which is titled "Vaseline Dude," is over on Vulture. It contains amazing sentences like, "She’d shared her body with worse men than him — she hadn’t discovered her model of robodoll was pee-proof by accident." Bless you, Alyssa Cole and Vulture. Bless you. (Vulture)