This is not a drill. There really is a Game of Thrones-inspired dildo throne that needs a proud new owner. And it can be yours for the affordable price of £650 (or about $1,032).
What? You've never seen the Iron Throne so erotically reimagined? Okay, no one has, so let's all pick our jaws up off the ground.
The 6-foot tall, 4-foot-6 wide throne was originally created for a contest (what was this contest?!) back in March, but once the winner, Ralph Jones, brought this masterpiece home, he found it was (ahem) too large.
His exact words: "No space can handle it." So, naturally, he made a commercial for the throne before putting it up for sale on eBay (there's currently only one bid, btw).
"It's just about the best dildo throne I've seen," Ralph says. Indeed.
We have so many questions: WHY was this a contest in the first place? Are all 100 dildos made from the same penis? Where does Ralph work that he could have possibly stored this?
Personally, we think it would make a really excellent Christmas tree-style display for a few pairs of Hanky Panky panties. Or how about making it the focal point of your living room? It would certainly always get guests talking. You could also always just keep it in your red room of pain, because people totally have those.
Regardless, someone needs to snap this up ASAP. You'd have an endless supply of dildos, and there's nothing wrong with that.