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Photo: Courtesy of NBC; Illustrated by Sydney Hass.
There's an unwritten rule in the celebrity handbook that, if invited to attend the Golden Globes, one must blackout or get out. It's Hollywood's sloppiest night, after all!
What exactly happens when a bunch of pretty, famous people get piled into a room to celebrate their famous faces with a boatload of free champagne? Debauchery. Refined, tinsel-tinted debauchery that will inevitably be gawked at for infinity.
More often than not, it's the winners providing the toasted toasts and laughs rather than the hosts. (Though Tina Fey & Amy Poehler do have to carry these folks through hours of schmoozing.) The following 15 moments are prime examples of that.
Then again, who knows how sloshed these folks really are. They are, at the end of the day, actors who occasionally get paid to act buzzed.
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Jeremy Renner Spies A Different Kind Of Globe
How Many Sheets To The Wind Was He? 2?
The 2015 Golden Globes weren't a typical slosh-fest (though it may have appeared as such considering how dewy everyone looked.) Jeremy Renner, however, let his judgement slide when he quipped "You've got the globes, too" while presenting the award for Best Actor In A Miniseries Or Motion Picture For Television with Jennifer Lopez. Was he buzzed? Who knows? It wasn't cool.
Photo: Courtesy of NBC.
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America’s Sweetheart Sweet Talks The Carpet
How Many Sheets To The Wind Was She? 3
Julia Roberts left the sweet girl at home and brought her stream of conscious to the carpet. She trashed NBC and wished Michelle Obama a happy birthday in less than a minute.
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Emma Thompson Loses Her Loubs
How Many Sheets To The Wind Was She? 2
Everyone's favorite wannabe drunk aunt Emma Thompson stuck it to the male patriarchy and ditched her heels to present the 2014 Golden Globe for Best Screenplay. She was either pretending she was plastered or that was one potent martini.
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Glenn Close Wiggles (Without Jason Derulo)
How Many Sheets To The Wind Was She? 1
The only thing Glenn Close was drunk on that evening was life, liberty, and the pursuit of viral fame.