An Exhaustive, Comprehensive, Conclusive Review Of Boob Tape

Photo: BEImages.
Jennifer Lopez has had no shortage of iconic looks during her reign, including one particular bedazzled bandana situation during her Puff Daddy days. However, none was as truly monumental as the green, Versace gown she wore to the Grammys back in 2000. That dress was out-of-this-world beautiful: a flowy, jungle-print maxi that had an extreme-plunging neckline all the way down to her innie. It's not like we've never seen midriff or side-boob on the red carpet before, but there was something extraordinary about J-Lo’s gown. So much so that it easily lent itself to pop culture lore. Seriously, what other red carpet moment has its own Wikipedia entry?

The witchcraft lies in the mystery of how her dress stayed in place all evening with nary a game of peek-a-boob. If you’ve ever worn a revealing dress and had to ask your friends to be on nip-watch all night, you might already be familiar with the wonders of double-stick tape. To celebrate the 15th anniversary of J-Lo's jaw-dropping moment, we’ve done a rigorous test of a few of the best double-stick tapes on the market (along with some "creative" alternatives.) Stick with us for the reviews.
1 of 5
Hollywood Fashion Secrets Original Fashion Tape

Since my sexiest gown was at the cleaners, I went for the closest thing to it in my closet: a kimono-style satin robe. I removed the belt to mimic J-Lo’s dress as best I could — except I might have been wearing pizza-printed socks with it.

The first tape I tried is deemed “The Original” by Hollywood Fashion Secrets and comes in a baby-pink, pill-shaped tin. At first, I messed up and took all of the backing off the strip at the same time. It stuck together and rolled into a big ol’ booger.

The second time was more successful. I took off just one side of the backing and stuck it on the inside of my robe, pressing down lightly on my left breast. Then I removed the other side and secured it in place.

To test its durability, I did a few arm stretches and pageant waves. It was fine and dandy, and my nipples were safe. Then I play-acted my reaction to one of my arch-frenemies lunging at me like on an episode of Bad Girls Club, and my "Versace gown" ripped off in the process. So, keep in mind that this tape would NOT do well in a catfight.
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2 of 5
Commando Matchsticks Double Stick Tape Strips
These strips come in the best thing ever: a pink, leopard-print design on a foldout package that resembles matchsticks. When you open it, the directions are printed on the inside cover.

Among the rule-type instructions are “Throw away your safety pins” and “Brag to your friends how clever you are.” Please, Commando, like I don’t do that second one enough already.

I applied these strips in a similar process as the Hollywood tape, but my robe felt a tad less secure, and I had to reapply the tape throughout the evening. Still, the compact packaging means this is a good one to keep in your purse for emergencies.
3 of 5
Braza Flash Tape
Here's another produce that comes in gender-normative, bubblegum-pink packaging. Not that I'm complaining since I’m the type of person who has an all-pink bathroom, but it is a funny thing to notice.

The Braza Flash Tape comes in an actual tape dispenser, and his made its application much easier. I also found it to be the smoothest one to apply, and it easily came off of the backing.

After I taped my kimono to my boob, I tested braza by doing a different kind of dance — a Channing Tatum-esque pop 'n' lock routine similar to the one in the trailer for Magic Mike XXL. (Yes, I’ve watched it at least ten times.) The tape held pretty well, but if someone tried to rip my dress off like a pair of tearaways, I’d be a goner.
4 of 5
Double Sided Duck Tape
Now was the time to get a little bit creative. Do we even need these fancy styling tapes when there’s good-old duct tape around? Answer: Yes.

The Duck Tape was difficult to cut with scissors, got stuck on my fingers, and somehow — maddeningly — wouldn't stick to my robe. Pass.
5 of 5
Walker No Shine Bonding Double Sided Tape
A friend told me that when he dressed in drag, he used toupee tape, and it worked really well. In fact, toupee tape is what J-Lo used when she wore the infamous dress. Even with that knowledge, I was hesitant.

The toupee tape came in packaging that was the farthest thing from cute: a clear, nondescript baggie you'd normally find filled with things more illicit than adhesive. As I removed a strip, I noticed a strong chemical smell, but I peeled the adhesive backing and stuck it on my robe.

After pressing the tape against my right boob, it was secure. In fact, it was VERY secure. I did a few jumping jacks and moonwalked across the floor. I tugged on my kimono, and then I tugged harder. The tape was so strong that it tugged my boob along with it. This mutha was not going anywhere. Clearly, this is the best option to keep those chi-chis in place! Cheers, J-Lo!
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